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Thank You

Do you know what is 过河拆桥?
It means after you cross the river, you destroy the bridge. This is referring to people who seeks help (act friendly) because they want something and then pretend they don't know you or not being as nice to you once they get what they want.

Sadly, I see people like this around. This is called making use of others, using people as chess pieces. Tsk. You are going to get karma. Life's not always about you you you okay.

Anyway, it's Teachers' Day, so I'm going to take the opportunity to write a token of thanks to a few teachers who have made a difference in my life.

Firstly, to Miss Koh, for pulling me up from the fall. You believed in me when no other teacher does, pushing me to show you the best that I can be, to show the rest of those who look down at me in the past. Thank You, and I hope you are doing well in your studies. Come back soon! We will have another gathering. =)

Secondly, to Mr Ng, I really enjoyed your A-maths lessons, and although I used to complain about how you have such a high expectation and how you always say that I did not do well enough, but I know that it's all for my own good, and you say that because you know I could do better. I hope I did not disappoint you with my O level grade. It's the best possible anyway, haha. SO I hope you feel that your naggings pay off. =)

Thirdly, to Coach, you're our mentor and friend, and I think you are the best coach there is! Sometimes, I wish I could be there with the rest of the team at the field with you, having softball practice, and I don't even mind if you want us to run 10 rounds, I'll do it. Thank you for believing in me, for letting me be in the first 9 with the rest. Those memories will be kept forever, I will never forget. I remembered after my first home run you asked me how it felt, and I told you one word, Shiok. Yes, it's the best feeling ever.

Last but not least, Mr Chng. I don't know how many thank yous will be enough to tell you how thankful I am, I think no matter how much it will never be enough. You made me see that I'm not who I am in Council, that I should take that step out to be who I really am. I know I disappoint you many times, that sometimes I lack that confidence to give the best that I could, but thank you, no matter what, because you never gave up on us. Thank you for your trust in me, letting me lead the team with Angela. I hope I did not let you down. Thank you for bringing Softball into my life. It made a whole difference in the world.

I don't need to prove anything to you, sour grapes.

Number 26

Have a break, Have a Kit Kat
Blogger's still screwed!!! Hurry fix leh.
Anyway, 1 down, 3 more to go, counting down the days... till September 2nd.

CRAA II is O-V-E-R.
Up next is Corporate Finance. I've learned my lessons, to just enter the exam room without any expectation, easier to breathe this way, lower pressure. But the desire to excel is just too great to ignore, especially when I'm this close. Sighs.

Was supposed to take a short nap but ended up watching this old DVD that I got, Freedom Writers, based on a real life story.
One thing I've learnt from it, is if you say you cannot, you really cannot. So the bottom line here is, you'll never know until you try. You'll never know what's out there if you don't walk out of your comfort zone and enter a world that you thought you will never enter. What you thought may turn out to be different.
And people who truly loves you, won't stop you from achieving your dreams. People who think they love you will selfishly pull you back. And that's not how it is supposed to be.

Had lunch with the gang after the paper. Ahh can't wait for the holidays seriously... Our chalet's gonna be so happening. Full attendance! :)

事情如果那么简单那就好了
想让自己不见
瞬间就统统消灭
人类如果没有心脏那就好了
受伤不会流血
悲伤也不会流泪

不需要有同类
传染颓废
不需要愚昧的尊严
不需要去偷窃你的思念
自我安慰

就让我伪装
我嘴角不屑
让孤独乘以更孤独的两倍
允许我保留我最后一点点特权
赦免我想念你的心碎
如果我眼神里闪烁不屑
可能我心里一半地已经残废
那一半跟着你走远了的那一天
这一半渐渐地瓦解

如果我还有一点点不屑
别想要说服我纯洁的绝对
我只是世界上物种绝种的绝类
悄悄的失眠了一光年
如果我还有一点点不屑
那是我自己虚荣心在作祟
自以为或许有一天我们会重叠
我可以再爱你第二遍

Yippee. BD phase 2 is over.
After the presentation, I had lunch with the guys while panda is having csb. Then accidentally found out that zl is my senior from nan hua. haha. so we started chatting about nan hua and the peeps.

We wanted to finish up the report today, but the four of us were totally K-Oed by around 1.30, all of us were complaining about how our heads felt like they were going to drop off. haha gross. so we began to start laming around, like I'm going to call ryan - cheng ling from now onwards, and I'm going to call weixian - onion, because yang zong "chong" wei xian and that darren is now darren tanuwidjaja, lol, the newly adopted brother. ok crap.

Anyway by 2.30 we were totally K-Oed, then we decided to split up work and went home.
My eyes were totally closing on the way home so I went straight to bed, and guess what? I forgot to lock the door la. This is so dangerous man, luckily my mum is here already.
Reached home about 3 and slept all the way till 7. Woke up and went out to teach Gabriel and Fionn.

You know, I haven't start my revision yet! woohoo. I'm going to start right now!
Bye Bye!

Left with the final 2 and then the exams.
BD phase 2 presentation on Monday, Psycho last presentation on Friday.
I'm giving it my all.
No regrets.

I think the results this semester will determine everything about my future.
Well, maybe not everything, but close to 100%.
yup.
I know what I'm doing, so... just let me make my own choices.

Winning now doesn't mean you will win all the time, losing now doesn't make you a loser forever.
Just watch and see.
I'm not weak.

Love being home alone.
Love the peace, the calmness, the serenity.
Life's been crazily hectic this month.
So hectic I almost lost it.
On the bridge of it.
Thanks for pulling me back, friend.
Calming me down.
Listening to what I have to say.
It's like, you just appeared at the right time.
One second late and I don't think I'll make it through.

I don't know what else to say but thanks.

I felt so understood.

Name: Eveline
Date: 8/9/2009
Colorgenics Number: 63147250

You are a very emotional and sensitive individual. Your life and love of life is dominated by your emotions - you have great feeling towards your fellow man and you are always full of enthusiasm but be careful, you tend to let your heart rule your head and this being so, you could be easily hurt - as perhaps you may have indeed been hurt in the past.

You are willing to try anything once. You 'need to be needed' and what is perhaps more important you 'need to need.' You can only feel close to a person or persons when you feel you can trust them, but this trust needs to be proven to you. Yes, just like how respect should be earned.

The present situation, not of your making, is forcing you to compromise. You will have to hold back and forgo some of your hopes, dreams and aspirations. You can never always do the things that you like to do. Life is not a bed of roses, and not perfect, so wake up your idea if you think life is bad for you, because little girl, life is not as easy as you think. Not everything will go accordingly as what you have planned. learn to be flexible, and stop complaining. Just shut up and get things done, PROPERLY.

You are on tenterhooks and appear to be extremely nervous and upset. You are bored and you feel that life has far more to offer than this present day mundane existence. The way that you feel indicates that you have the need for a responsive and understanding relationship. You are prepared to follow up any opportunity which may present itself. However you are very choosy and you refuse to be swept off your feet unless integrity can proved to be 100% genuine. Yes I don't like people with no integrity, like you-know-them. Irritating things that I have to see everyday. Sorry for the lack of kindness, but kudos to the honesty. I don't see the need to fake it if I don't like you. It will disappoint myself, and it will be an insult to you. agree?

Therefore you are holding back, keeping your emotions in check because before you let down your guard you have to be sure. You are too trusting and you have no desire to be hurt again. You are responsive to conditions around you - but forever under control.

There is an inherent fear that you may be prevented from achieving the things you want. This activates your subconscious desire for peace of mind and mental security. It is increasingly obvious to you that the environment that you are in is not conducive to your well-being and so you are seeking fresh fields - somewhere free of conflict where you can RELAX and THINK. The test agreed that I should move out of the country. So I'll say I'll move. Yes I think I will.

http://www.goldinuniverse.com/
Go and do.
I think it's the best test that I have ever done.
and also the shortest and easiest.

Love isn't blind.
It sees,
but it doesn't mind.

I just typed out a whole paragraph of words but I deleted them.
Ok, that's all, I got nothing to say.
I don't have anything left to say.

Life's pretty messed up at the moment.
Seriously SB, do you know what STUDY WEEK means?
If you want to give us STUDY WEEK, then give us a proper one can?
It's not STUDY WEEK when we have to go back to school 3 times that week you know.

Okay, and I only found out that we have to present for our psychology paper. Eh, PAPER le, research PAPER need to present one ah? tsk. and the time clash with my csb busines minutes test some more. So am I supposed to split myself into two? -.-

Ok, time to do stunt.

End of Psychology

Last Psycho lesson.

The last Monday that I will end class at 8.30, the last Monday where I will envy those who can go home at 5, the last Monday that I will be attending a class with my psycho classmates.

Tonight full attendance.

Still not listening to the lecturer, and doing my own projects, etc, but thinking back three semesters ago, one and a half year ago, when I stepped into the psycho classroom alone.

Now, it's done, over, only things left will be the final test which constitutes 30% next week and the psychology paper. then? thats it. full stop. draw a line.

One Diploma earned. =)

Worth it? Yup, definitely.

STAND UP FOR SINGAPORE!

Thanks to Julia, ME get to spend a nice Saturday at Marina, to watch the last NDP preview. =D
Huili and her family were there too, but they were at another section.
Julia and I were at the Orange section, right smack in front of the stage.
I took videos of the whole thing, but didnt take any photo because I am very pek chek with my Olympus.

My last live NDP parade was in Primary 5, close to a decade ago.
The NDP then and now was totally different, this year's damn cool, not the usual kind, so definitely a surprise I feel. Watching live and on tv were two totally different feeling. Having watching on tv for the past 10 years, a live parade was a great feeling.

I often come across people who asked me this question: "Do you like Singapore or Indonesia?"
I like both. I am born in Indonesia, but bred in Singapore, so my heart is in both places. I am practically a Singaporean now, with all my slang, and the fact that I have forgotten almost all my Bahasa having no one to speak the language to except my maid. My life is here, my friends are here, and I love walking around at night, and it's safe. In Indo though, there's my family, and the food, and the big house and the big room, the car and the chauffeur. So why ask me to choose between the two? In the future though, I know a choice has to be made. In 2 years time, I will be receiving a letter to offer me a citizenship. How I know where I will be in 2 years?
Never mind, receive first then say.

After NDP, Julia and I had dinner with Pang and her family at dian xiao er. Thanks for the treat auntie, the pork very nice. haha. Then we took bus home.

Ok, I have enjoyed my Saturday, so tmw have to do double the workload. it's going to end in about a month. jiayou, everybody.