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今天上了一堂ART PSYCHOLOGY 的课。
内容说到SOLITUDE 和 LONELY，也就是孤独与寂寞。
我和Grace都以为SOLITUDE和LONELY 是一样的意思，但其实有分别。
SOLITUDE 是当你选择一个人的时候,LONELY 是当你身边没有人陪着的那种感觉。

我突然觉得很可笑。
我的身边好像有很多人陪着，不缺朋友。
可是为什么当我真正需要哭诉，需要人陪伴的时候，却不知道能找谁，因为大家都
好忙，不想打扰。
很好笑 hor?
人生就是这样吧，不可能事事如意。
I guess this is why they always say，life is full of challenges?

30 DECEMBER 2008

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CECIKIA!
Dude, you're officially legal. (finally)
Looking back to the time when I first met you (that was when we were 13!), you have not changed at all!
You are always the first one to come to me when I blamed myself for not performing well during a game. (This left a very deep impression, lol.)
You are the best 1st baseman! (Nice partnership getting opponents out yeah?)
Haha, hope you have a really good birthday, stay happy, stay cecilia always. =D

That's it.
Enough already.
I've had it.
Whose house got extra room for me?

Moving on to a happier thought.
I think it's a great feeling to see a smile on a person's face, especially if you are the reason for that smile. You feel warmth, you feel appreciated, you feel happiness, and at that moment you feel that what you have done is worth it.
CECIKIA'S birthday celebration last night. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D Sorry can't be there to celebrate on the actual day though. But Happy 18 yeah? =D

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.

Gotcha

First and foremost, Merry Christmas.
May this joyous festive season brings happiness to you guys, and hopefully, a preparation for a good ending of 2008 and welcome the start of 2009.

Bad timing for rain yesterday, dampened the mood and there goes the romantic walk along Orchard Road. =\. On a lighter note, Orchard Road will be crowded anyway, so, maybe staying indoors to watch Bedtime Stories was a good idea after all.
In addition, I decided that it's time to grow my hair back again, and I wanted Jackie to tidy it up a little because it was as messy as a mop and out of the place, BUT Jackie was not around when I went a few days ago. I didn't want to go back again, so I just allowed someone else to tidy it for me. BAD DECISION. Sighs. Should be patient and let Jackie do it. *@#$(#$(#!@#&%(!#)!@#.

I will be 6 days early for this, but I anticipate that I will be as busy as a bee once school starts, so shall post my traditional end of the year reflection and new year resolutions right now.

2008's been... eventful.
- Had a really bad break up.
- Lousy CNY and birthday.
- New classes without good friends.
- Started DP class.
- Made new friends.
- Japan Trip.
- Made more new friends.
- Found love.
- Survived first semester of Year 2.
- Softball Trip.
- Stepped into Malaysia for the 1st time in 18 years.

Although the first half of 2008 was like shit, because I think I sort of lived in denial then, avoiding all sorts of things, but the later half was good enough to make up for everything. Cheers to 2008. I hope 2009 will be a more... stable year, and a peaceful one as well. Seriously need to settle down and do work. Now that we are entering the last term of Year 2 already, it means Year 3 is coming! and Year 3 means Business Development and I get to work with Huili again. This calls for serious celebration.
I have also learned that the key to happiness is to not expect anything. How sad, but how true.

2009 NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS:
Two words.
- GROW UP. - these two words mean a lot of things, or should I refer to it as issues? Yup. It's time to grow up.

I've never been more clear.
I love you, it's a poor excuse for what I have been doing, but it's true.
=)

I can finally rest.
Ya, how I wish.
Now that 2 weeks of fun had passed, I need to do something about the in-tray that has been piling up. I hope I'll get back my motivation before school starts?

Have been really tired.
Both physically and emotionally.
I've been thrown around in so much turbulence I can't stand properly on two feet. But when the going gets tough, the tough get going, right? It's mind over matter. The key is to be confident.
Can't let things shake me off so easily. The only way is to prove them wrong, correct? Make them shut up.
TTKA.

Goki's back from Fukuoka. I'm glad she enjoyed her trip, she deserved it. =D and Thanks for the souvenirs! I really like them =). And thanks Huili for your early Christmas present, really meaningful, thats very nice of you =).

Don't dream about fairytales anymore
Wake up and walk out of that door
The world outside is full of wonders and fun
When the rain stops, you'll be able to see the sun - eveline, 21/12/08, 1.10 pm.

Last but not least, it's xiong di's birthday today- Happy 19th Birthday SHUFEN!

My almost grown up Christmas list
- That my life be filled with surprises
- and my loved ones be happy and safe
- may the world be a better place for all
- to be stronger physically and mentally
- and that love would never end

Do you remember me
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you with childhood fantasies
Well I'm all grown up now
And still need help somehow
I'm not a child but my heart still can dream

What is this illusion called the innocence of youth
Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth

Softball Trip!

WARNING: LONG ENTRY!

DAY 1: ARRIVAL

Touchdown! Went home and off to Taman Anggrek for lunch. Brought them to Bakmi Gajah Mada to eat Bakmi Bakso!

Then we bought a ton of snacks at Aneka Rasa, bought donuts from Dunkin Donuts, then took some photos because there are nice christmas decorations.

Had Dinner at Sentral, then bought some Dvds...

Played Monopoly, and CECILIA ANG LOST!

DAY 2: BANDUNG

Set off from home at around 7 am and made our way to Bandung...

Stopped halfway for Starbucks and 5 Hrs later...

We arrived at Sunan Suite, which is our cottage at Sari Ater Hot Spring Resort.

After lunch, we wanted to go to the strawberry farm but the strawberries were all rotten because of the huge rain. =( so cannot go and pluck ourselves. But we bought some back and its really sweet =). Then we went to see the Volcano at Gunung Tangkuban Parahu and attempted to go to the foot of the volcano, but my bro watched too much movies (lol) so... we went up the mountain to look at the crater instead!

We took photos with this weird china man who came over and asked us where we came from. Then we shopped for a little while at the village. Xy and I bought fake glasses.

Went back to our suite to dip into the hot spring! Yup, our suite has its own private hot spring pool! =) And I SAW A HUGE SPIDER! the size of my palm! I freaked out for a little while. -.-

Had dinner, then went back to our suite to shoot our GOTCHA VIDEO and then we watched Twilight on DVD while pigging on snacks. Angie and SX too tired, so only Cec, XY and I watched till the end. I am so gonna read the book.

DAY 3 - Activies and Jakarta
Went horseriding and rode the AVP jeep after breakfast! Breakfast was lousy, except for Cec's Apple cereal because the milk sucks.

Everyone was super excited.

Rode the horses back to our suite and then we took one last dip at the hot spring.

We left the resort to have our lunch, then made our way to Rumah Mode factory outlet, where we shopped like nobody's business. XY bought the most among all of us, but she had no money to pay. SLLOLLS. Happy. =) Long ride home from Bandung to Jakarta, and everyone chionged for the toilet once we reached home.

After dinner, we watched "Zack and Miri make a porno" because SX recommended and requested for it, BUT everybody fell asleep during the movie because it was so boring, and the one who wanted to watch it fell asleep first. Sixian... lol.

Day 4 - MOVIE MARATHON AT HOME + Pizza + Arcade

Watched Wild Child, Meet Dave, Center Stage and House Bunny. Sixian fell asleep during the movies again, and only woke up when we had lunch. -.-.

Went to Grand Indonesia for dinner (we had pizza - peking duck, trilogy and one more pollo something something one )! and went to shop again. This time, CECILIA ANG went bankrupt.

Played at the arcade for a little while, where my bro won a lot of tickets, and where we managed to practice our throws.

After that, we went home to continue watching dvd and ate Indonesia's Martabak (which is pancake with cheese, peanuts, chocolates and sesame) for supper.

Day 5 - ITC MANGGA DUA

ITC mangga dua is like a 5 storey shopping centre filled with stuff like Bugis Street, only cheaper and is bargainable. BUT we spent like 4 hours on 1 level and walked out of the place with tons of bags. CECILIA ANG went COMPLETELY bankrupt. Tired, but happy, because everyone bought something(s). =D

After that we went to Taman Anggrek again because SX and CEC wanted to get snacks to bring back home, and CECILIA ANG BOUGHT THE MOST AGAIN. She insisted that they are not for personal consumption, but... we all knew that, they are. Then we bought Kecap Bango, which is a sweet sauce that we like very much. Crazy people, go inside supermarket to get dunno how many bottles of sauce. CEC ANG, AGAIN, bought the most bottles.

Dinner at Satay House. We started with this:

and ended like this:

The only people who are willing to pig out with me like this, will be them. =)

Shiok de lo. =D Full belly.

After dinner, we went home and took turns to shower, after which, is the chatting session. I think we lasted around 6 hours.

Day 6 - HOME SWEET HOME.

Packed up, said goodbye to the dogs, and left for the airport.

I think this trip strenghthens the bonds between us, where we can finally spend time with each other, doing things together, and recalls the memories from the past. I love them, truly, from the bottom of my heart, the friends that I went through thick and thin with, the glorious days, the bad lousy days, from nothing to something. With them, I don't have to be anyone else but myself, and despite being far from perfect, they love me for who I am, who I used to be, or who I will be. And for that, cheers to this friendship, and to the game that brought us together.

Pictures up on Facebook and Friendster!

Note to self:
I just realised
how immature I was.
Stop thinking about all the stupid things.
Believe in yourself more, ok?
That's the way =).

I will be on a short hiatus - from 11 to 16 Dec, because I will be spending time with dearest softballers at a HOT SPRING RESORT and a cottage to ourselves! =D.
Girls, the long awaited trip, it's happening TOMORROW.
=DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
excited to the max!
I'm all set and packed. At least, I think I am. =)

Till then,
Please take care. =D

CHAI SI AUN!
Bud, please take care of yourself!
Be a man and come back, our national hero!
and stay away from you-know-what.

NICHOLAS CHAN JUN WEI
You don't laugh, you are going in too.

Take care ah two of you, won't be seeing you all very often.
Will miss the two of you, and the chaos that you two always bring, but they never fail to make my day, and nothing will ever change. =)
Videos will be up on facebook. =P

5 Dec - Host Japanese Students

I think something is wrong with my eyes. Yuli and Bingsheng! Check for me onegaishimasu!

Maybe I'm just too tired.

Anyways, loads of plans to meet up with secondary school friends. =) I really hope like those friendships that I made won't die off like years later? It will be damn sad. People will change over the years, even I have, but some things should just remain the way they are, things like friendship and love for example. Only more, not less.

Hosted a group of Japanese from Iwata Kita High School (Shizuoka prefecture) today.

Woke up super early la... we had to meet at Bugis at 8.30. Met up with huili on the bus, made our way there, then ben,william and cheryl joined us soon after.

Our first stop was Sentosa. First to the Underwater World, then to the Luge and Skyride. YOU KNOW HOW SCARY THE SKYRIDE IS OR NOT. -.-. I totally closed my eyes during the whole journey la. But have to accompany them so got no choice. -.- Sacrifice so much for cca points.lol.

Then we went to Vivo for lunch and rushed back to Bugis because they want to get omiyage.

After everything, huili and i went to bukit timah food market to eat ice kachang because i was super thirsty and desperately in need of some ice. Then I went to confirm and paid for the Indo trip. I really cannot believe it's happening. =) We're so gonna rock the house.

Mugging for JLPT tmw. Ganbare!

survey

10 to 1 of My World

TAKE THIS SURVEY!

TEN HOW'S:

How did you get one of your scars?
knocked my shin onto a chair in primary school.

How did you celebrate your last birthday?
BADLY =( i hope the next one will be better.

How are you feeling at this moment?
tired, sleepy but with a full tummy. =)

How did your night go last night?
mugging for FMKT

How did you do in high school?
academically, not as good as everyone else, CCA, not bad =)

How did you get the shirt you're wearing?
a friend designed it for our group

How often do you see ur best friend?
er, everyday?

How much money did you spend last month?
too much.

How old do you want to be when you get married?
25/26

How old will you be at your next birthday?
19

NINE WHAT'S:

Your mothers name?
hilda lim fui yang

What did you do last weekend?
mugging at home =\

What is the most important part of your life?
the people around me

What would you rather be doing?
sleeping, im really tired.

What did you last cry over?
some show on tv

What always makes you feel better when you’re upset?
when im talking nonsense with the gang, or when dear cheer me up with his jokes.

What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other?
that he's not going to fall for someone else

What are you worried about?
right now? about my holiday not going well and ya, mst results, sadly.

What did you have for breakfast?
pokka milk tea

EIGHT HAVE YOU’S:

Have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend?
yes, so sad.

Have you ever had your heartbroken?
yes, i've experienced the bad side of love.

Have you ever been out of the country?
yup.

Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?
crying over some person thats not worth one drop of the tears counted dumb? then yes.

Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend?
yes.

Have you ever had sex on the beach?
no.

Have you ever dated someone younger than you?
no.

Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
yes.

SEVEN WHO’S:

Who was the last person you saw?
my maid.

Who was the last person you texted?
my mum.

Who was the last person you hungout with?
the gang, last one will be huili cause we took the same bus home.

Who was the last person to call you?
this andrew guy informing me about tmw.

Who did you last hug?
dear

Who is the last person who texted you?
my mum la.

Who was the las person you said "i love you" to?
dear

SIX WHERE’S:

Where does your best friend live?
eh, around 5 bus stops away?

Where did you last go?
Marina Square

Where did you last hang out?
Marina Square la.

Where do you go to school?
Singapore Polytechnic, School of Business

Where is your favorite place to be?
my room.

Where did you sleep last night?
at home lah.

FIVE DO’S/DOES:

Do you like someone right now?
ya, i like all my friends.

Do you think anyone likes you?
hmm, dear u like me or not?

Do you ever wish you were someone else?
sometimes.

Do you know the muffin man?
whos that.

Does the future scare you?
yeah it sort of does.

FOUR WHY’S:

Why are you best friends with your best friend(s)?
because we can relate to each other

Why did you get a myspace?
i dont have a myspace

Why did your parents give you the name you have?
my brother suggested it

Why are you doing this survey?
because im bored

THREE IF’S:

If you could have one super power what would it be??
be invisible

If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you?
no, things happen for a reason, and what doesnt kill you makes you stronger.

If u were stranded on a deserted island & could bring 1 thing what would you bring?
i want to bring yew jia jun because he will do all the things for me. hahahahaha.

TWO WOULD-YOU-EVER’S:

Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you?
no, good horses dont eat grass that they have walked away from. lol.

Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love?
yah i will.

ONE LAST QUESTION

Are you happy with your life right now?
pretty satisfied, yes.

CLICK HERE TO TAKE THIS SURVEY!

MySpace Surveys

FINALLY.
what i've been waiting for.
out of 4 papers, none that i have confidence in. this sucks. but im not going to think about it. whatever that happens, i deserve it.

Gang had our usual end of exam outing. so bloated.

MY HOLIDAY SCHEDULE, starting from tomorrow.
5 Dec - Host Japanese students. =)))))
6 Dec - mug for JLPT with huili
7 Dec - JLPT
8 Dec - K BOX with DP CLASS!!
9 Dec - chibarians outing
10 Dec - UCCD meeting at my house
11 Dec to 16 Dec - SOFTBALL INDO TRIP!!!!!!
17 Dec - Shopping with Huili and the gang
18 Dec to 20 Dec - Genting

So far so good? Fully utilise the holiday.
=)

I know I should have been more understanding.
I will learn to be a better person.
I just felt, the whole thing coming in onto my head again, all the flashbacks of the pain. I shouldn't have, I know. Just felt a little lonely. Oh wells, you can't be happy everyday in this world that we live in. -.-

NOTE TO THE SANS IF ANYONE OF YOU IS READING THIS:
PLEASE, FIND A DATE SO WE CAN GO OUT, I MISS YOU GUYS THE MOST.