I was lying on my bed trying to take a nap this afternoon, but I ended up looking back at how much my life has changed.

I thought about my family. How it used to be just my parents, my brother and I, to my sis-in-law and then my baby nephew. I thought about my friends, those I've lost, and the new ones I've made. I thought about myself. How much I've seen, how much I've experienced, and how much I've overcomed. I've changed, because the surroundings have changed me, because I needed to adapt to all the changes, because I need to be strong enough to carry on. But sometimes, just once in a while, I can't stop the tears from flowing. The happiness I've been trying to achieve seems so far away, and I dare not even think, not even for a second, if that happiness will ever belong to me. I don't want to get hurt again. I've had enough. For real this time, I've really had enough. Friends told me that the type of guy that I needed have been extinct for a long time. But you know what? I still believe that somewhere out there, there will still be one. And fyi, I'm not the type of whiny plastic container who needs a guy to be around with all the time. Love is more sacred than that. Some bastards out there just can't seem to understand.