Hello. =D

Keep Moving Forward

2009-09-08T21:12:00.000-07:00

Moved.
Will be over there until blogger stops screwing up, or I may not come back.
Up to you to relink.
Bye.

http://simpleandnothingfancy.xanga.com/

Forever

2009-09-07T22:17:00.000-07:00

"Forever is not a timeline. Forever is a feeling.

Forever is not reality. Forever is an ideal scenario, a figment of our imagination, a concept we cling on to.

It's a moment.

Forever can be that split-second.

Forever can be those few minutes.

For as long as it lasts, it is forever."
- Elvin

Sometimes Forever is when you've got used to it and you're lazy to change.

So what's Forever?

There's no Forever.

Last day of Psycho

2009-09-06T23:07:00.000-07:00

Group Members

With our research paper teacher-in-charge, Ms Wang.

With everyone

It's been great attending classes with you guys. =)

Thanks for being a part of my life.

We made it! and it's gonna be worth it.

Own Time Own Target

2009-09-06T08:02:00.000-07:00

Cheng Ling is off to Japan tonight, I hope he successfully brings back Tokyo Bananas for me. Enjoy lo, go Japan, Hokkaido some more. Tsk. When can I ever go Hokkaido to eat the Hokkaido crab? It's just different, even though you can have Japanese food here. Japanese food in Japan is just 100 times more delicious you know. Hokkaido is definitely on the list, along with Korea, United States, UK etc. One day when I make enough money, I'll spend it on travelling - backpacking style, hor shufen? when the time comes I call you ok?

I spent today playing Reflexive Games, and mass sending resumes to companies, hoping more will reply me tomorrow. But it's super shiok sleeping late and waking up late, without caring about the time.

Kbox with psycho class was cancelled cause many cannot make it. WQ's going off to US for the semester to earn her 25 credit units. Jia You!

Planning games for chalet. - Wo yao chang xia qu! Include Japanese and Korean songs, as well as old songs for the old man, and jay chou is confirm must have if not choong will complain.

Ok, bye.

moments like this

2009-09-05T04:28:00.000-07:00

If blogger's staying like this, I think I'm moving.

Or maybe just stop blogging altogether. We'll see.

Managed to clear up some of my stuff today. Rubbish from one small shelf can amount to one huge plastic bag, the ratio not proportionate. Anyway, hope can clear up unwanted stuff from the room by Tuesday.

I'm thinking whether I should do a To Do list for my holidays. For one, I can make an effort to fully utilise my hols to do all that is needed to be done. On the other hand, I should just screw the schedules and do what I like, Own Time Own Target. I've decided to choose the latter.

I forgot to mention in my last entry that Dunkin Donuts is here in Singapore!

the end of yet another chapter

2009-09-03T09:04:00.000-07:00

Hello,
I know usually I will pen my thoughts and excitements here as soon as I can, but I was too high yesterday.
Anyway, the second last semester ended as of yesterday, after our banking law paper. Waved goodbyes to friends whom I will only see at the beginning of the next semester, and went off to enjoy the start of our well-earned holiday with the gang. So 9 of us walked to Rong Guang BBQ Seafood at Ulu Pandan Road. On our table were my standard must-have which is the Sambal KangKong and Sambal Stingray, and also Hot Plate Tofu, Crispy You Tiao, Sweet & Sour Pork, and Sambal Sotong. Cleared them in half an hour, and the night is still young, so 7 of us went to Jelita to get some chips and white wine, and headed to my place to chill out. A few moments later, we were playing heart attack under the stars, by the swimming pool. =)

Pictures were taken by Ah siao with her polaroid camera, so must wait for her to scan them first.
Awaiting our chalet! Expecting it to be 10 times high-er, because all 11 will be there =P.

Went out the whole day today with Panda, ET and Ah Siao, to look for jobs and to shop. We managed to score an interview with one, and I'm hoping for a favorable reply.

Thank You

2009-08-31T07:04:00.000-07:00

Do you know what is 过河拆桥?
It means after you cross the river, you destroy the bridge. This is referring to people who seeks help (act friendly) because they want something and then pretend they don't know you or not being as nice to you once they get what they want.

Sadly, I see people like this around. This is called making use of others, using people as chess pieces. Tsk. You are going to get karma. Life's not always about you you you okay.

Anyway, it's Teachers' Day, so I'm going to take the opportunity to write a token of thanks to a few teachers who have made a difference in my life.

Firstly, to Miss Koh, for pulling me up from the fall. You believed in me when no other teacher does, pushing me to show you the best that I can be, to show the rest of those who look down at me in the past. Thank You, and I hope you are doing well in your studies. Come back soon! We will have another gathering. =)

Secondly, to Mr Ng, I really enjoyed your A-maths lessons, and although I used to complain about how you have such a high expectation and how you always say that I did not do well enough, but I know that it's all for my own good, and you say that because you know I could do better. I hope I did not disappoint you with my O level grade. It's the best possible anyway, haha. SO I hope you feel that your naggings pay off. =)

Thirdly, to Coach, you're our mentor and friend, and I think you are the best coach there is! Sometimes, I wish I could be there with the rest of the team at the field with you, having softball practice, and I don't even mind if you want us to run 10 rounds, I'll do it. Thank you for believing in me, for letting me be in the first 9 with the rest. Those memories will be kept forever, I will never forget. I remembered after my first home run you asked me how it felt, and I told you one word, Shiok. Yes, it's the best feeling ever.

Last but not least, Mr Chng. I don't know how many thank yous will be enough to tell you how thankful I am, I think no matter how much it will never be enough. You made me see that I'm not who I am in Council, that I should take that step out to be who I really am. I know I disappoint you many times, that sometimes I lack that confidence to give the best that I could, but thank you, no matter what, because you never gave up on us. Thank you for your trust in me, letting me lead the team with Angela. I hope I did not let you down. Thank you for bringing Softball into my life. It made a whole difference in the world.

2009-08-29T01:15:00.000-07:00

I don't need to prove anything to you, sour grapes.

Number 26

2009-08-26T03:22:00.000-07:00

Have a break, Have a Kit Kat
Blogger's still screwed!!! Hurry fix leh.
Anyway, 1 down, 3 more to go, counting down the days... till September 2nd.

CRAA II is O-V-E-R.
Up next is Corporate Finance. I've learned my lessons, to just enter the exam room without any expectation, easier to breathe this way, lower pressure. But the desire to excel is just too great to ignore, especially when I'm this close. Sighs.

Was supposed to take a short nap but ended up watching this old DVD that I got, Freedom Writers, based on a real life story.
One thing I've learnt from it, is if you say you cannot, you really cannot. So the bottom line here is, you'll never know until you try. You'll never know what's out there if you don't walk out of your comfort zone and enter a world that you thought you will never enter. What you thought may turn out to be different.
And people who truly loves you, won't stop you from achieving your dreams. People who think they love you will selfishly pull you back. And that's not how it is supposed to be.

Had lunch with the gang after the paper. Ahh can't wait for the holidays seriously... Our chalet's gonna be so happening. Full attendance! :)

2009-08-23T21:17:00.000-07:00

事情如果那么简单那就好了
想让自己不见
瞬间就统统消灭
人类如果没有心脏那就好了
受伤不会流血
悲伤也不会流泪

不需要有同类
传染颓废
不需要愚昧的尊严
不需要去偷窃你的思念
自我安慰

就让我伪装
我嘴角不屑
让孤独乘以更孤独的两倍
允许我保留我最后一点点特权
赦免我想念你的心碎
如果我眼神里闪烁不屑
可能我心里一半地已经残废
那一半跟着你走远了的那一天
这一半渐渐地瓦解

如果我还有一点点不屑
别想要说服我纯洁的绝对
我只是世界上物种绝种的绝类
悄悄的失眠了一光年
如果我还有一点点不屑
那是我自己虚荣心在作祟
自以为或许有一天我们会重叠
我可以再爱你第二遍

2009-08-17T07:12:00.000-07:00

Yippee. BD phase 2 is over.
After the presentation, I had lunch with the guys while panda is having csb. Then accidentally found out that zl is my senior from nan hua. haha. so we started chatting about nan hua and the peeps.

We wanted to finish up the report today, but the four of us were totally K-Oed by around 1.30, all of us were complaining about how our heads felt like they were going to drop off. haha gross. so we began to start laming around, like I'm going to call ryan - cheng ling from now onwards, and I'm going to call weixian - onion, because yang zong "chong" wei xian and that darren is now darren tanuwidjaja, lol, the newly adopted brother. ok crap.

Anyway by 2.30 we were totally K-Oed, then we decided to split up work and went home.
My eyes were totally closing on the way home so I went straight to bed, and guess what? I forgot to lock the door la. This is so dangerous man, luckily my mum is here already.
Reached home about 3 and slept all the way till 7. Woke up and went out to teach Gabriel and Fionn.

You know, I haven't start my revision yet! woohoo. I'm going to start right now!
Bye Bye!

2009-08-15T03:11:00.000-07:00

Left with the final 2 and then the exams.
BD phase 2 presentation on Monday, Psycho last presentation on Friday.
I'm giving it my all.
No regrets.

I think the results this semester will determine everything about my future.
Well, maybe not everything, but close to 100%.
yup.
I know what I'm doing, so... just let me make my own choices.

Winning now doesn't mean you will win all the time, losing now doesn't make you a loser forever.
Just watch and see.
I'm not weak.

2009-08-12T07:25:00.000-07:00

Love being home alone.
Love the peace, the calmness, the serenity.
Life's been crazily hectic this month.
So hectic I almost lost it.
On the bridge of it.
Thanks for pulling me back, friend.
Calming me down.
Listening to what I have to say.
It's like, you just appeared at the right time.
One second late and I don't think I'll make it through.

I don't know what else to say but thanks.

I felt so understood.

2009-08-09T02:52:00.000-07:00

Name: Eveline
Date: 8/9/2009
Colorgenics Number: 63147250

You are a very emotional and sensitive individual. Your life and love of life is dominated by your emotions - you have great feeling towards your fellow man and you are always full of enthusiasm but be careful, you tend to let your heart rule your head and this being so, you could be easily hurt - as perhaps you may have indeed been hurt in the past.

You are willing to try anything once. You 'need to be needed' and what is perhaps more important you 'need to need.' You can only feel close to a person or persons when you feel you can trust them, but this trust needs to be proven to you. Yes, just like how respect should be earned.

The present situation, not of your making, is forcing you to compromise. You will have to hold back and forgo some of your hopes, dreams and aspirations. You can never always do the things that you like to do. Life is not a bed of roses, and not perfect, so wake up your idea if you think life is bad for you, because little girl, life is not as easy as you think. Not everything will go accordingly as what you have planned. learn to be flexible, and stop complaining. Just shut up and get things done, PROPERLY.

You are on tenterhooks and appear to be extremely nervous and upset. You are bored and you feel that life has far more to offer than this present day mundane existence. The way that you feel indicates that you have the need for a responsive and understanding relationship. You are prepared to follow up any opportunity which may present itself. However you are very choosy and you refuse to be swept off your feet unless integrity can proved to be 100% genuine. Yes I don't like people with no integrity, like you-know-them. Irritating things that I have to see everyday. Sorry for the lack of kindness, but kudos to the honesty. I don't see the need to fake it if I don't like you. It will disappoint myself, and it will be an insult to you. agree?

Therefore you are holding back, keeping your emotions in check because before you let down your guard you have to be sure. You are too trusting and you have no desire to be hurt again. You are responsive to conditions around you - but forever under control.

There is an inherent fear that you may be prevented from achieving the things you want. This activates your subconscious desire for peace of mind and mental security. It is increasingly obvious to you that the environment that you are in is not conducive to your well-being and so you are seeking fresh fields - somewhere free of conflict where you can RELAX and THINK. The test agreed that I should move out of the country. So I'll say I'll move. Yes I think I will.

http://www.goldinuniverse.com/
Go and do.
I think it's the best test that I have ever done.
and also the shortest and easiest.

2009-08-09T02:04:00.000-07:00

Love isn't blind.
It sees,
but it doesn't mind.

I just typed out a whole paragraph of words but I deleted them.
Ok, that's all, I got nothing to say.
I don't have anything left to say.

2009-08-05T07:23:00.000-07:00

Life's pretty messed up at the moment.
Seriously SB, do you know what STUDY WEEK means?
If you want to give us STUDY WEEK, then give us a proper one can?
It's not STUDY WEEK when we have to go back to school 3 times that week you know.

Okay, and I only found out that we have to present for our psychology paper. Eh, PAPER le, research PAPER need to present one ah? tsk. and the time clash with my csb busines minutes test some more. So am I supposed to split myself into two? -.-

Ok, time to do stunt.

End of Psychology

2009-08-03T03:59:00.000-07:00

Last Psycho lesson.

The last Monday that I will end class at 8.30, the last Monday where I will envy those who can go home at 5, the last Monday that I will be attending a class with my psycho classmates.

Tonight full attendance.

Still not listening to the lecturer, and doing my own projects, etc, but thinking back three semesters ago, one and a half year ago, when I stepped into the psycho classroom alone.

Now, it's done, over, only things left will be the final test which constitutes 30% next week and the psychology paper. then? thats it. full stop. draw a line.

One Diploma earned. =)

Worth it? Yup, definitely.

2009-08-01T08:04:00.000-07:00

STAND UP FOR SINGAPORE!

Thanks to Julia, ME get to spend a nice Saturday at Marina, to watch the last NDP preview. =D
Huili and her family were there too, but they were at another section.
Julia and I were at the Orange section, right smack in front of the stage.
I took videos of the whole thing, but didnt take any photo because I am very pek chek with my Olympus.

My last live NDP parade was in Primary 5, close to a decade ago.
The NDP then and now was totally different, this year's damn cool, not the usual kind, so definitely a surprise I feel. Watching live and on tv were two totally different feeling. Having watching on tv for the past 10 years, a live parade was a great feeling.

I often come across people who asked me this question: "Do you like Singapore or Indonesia?"
I like both. I am born in Indonesia, but bred in Singapore, so my heart is in both places. I am practically a Singaporean now, with all my slang, and the fact that I have forgotten almost all my Bahasa having no one to speak the language to except my maid. My life is here, my friends are here, and I love walking around at night, and it's safe. In Indo though, there's my family, and the food, and the big house and the big room, the car and the chauffeur. So why ask me to choose between the two? In the future though, I know a choice has to be made. In 2 years time, I will be receiving a letter to offer me a citizenship. How I know where I will be in 2 years?
Never mind, receive first then say.

After NDP, Julia and I had dinner with Pang and her family at dian xiao er. Thanks for the treat auntie, the pork very nice. haha. Then we took bus home.

Ok, I have enjoyed my Saturday, so tmw have to do double the workload. it's going to end in about a month. jiayou, everybody.

Fine, if that's what you want.

2009-07-28T23:59:00.000-07:00

Speechless.
I don't like how some people succumb to pressure so easily.
Not up to challenges, tsk tsk.
I wonder how you are going to survive.

I give up liao lo.
Haiz.
Sick of cleaning everybody's mess.
Everytime give me shit to clean up.
Sian to the ultimate max.
Waiting for the end of the the final end of everything. 7 more months only. I'm waiting for March 2010 to come.

I was watching Homeward Bound, the very first one earlier.
Shadow reminded me of Penny.
Penny, how are you up there? or are you back down already?
Wherever you are, I hope you're happy,I miss you.

2009-07-26T02:52:00.001-07:00

It's absolutely easy to flare up at someone you don't know very well or someone you don't like for that matter.
But it takes a lot more to really get angry with friends.
There are times, when I don't understand what they are thinking, and felt like giving them my two cents worth, but I always hold myself back.
I'm not going to say anything, everything's going to be over soon anyway.
Soon, I'm going to be free from all sorts of things.

2009-07-25T07:27:00.000-07:00

Whenever you feel like complaining, or giving up, or just in a bad mood because something doesn't seem to go your way, just remember that you're not the unluckiest person, because someone out there is suffering way more than you do.

There's no such thing as free lunch, and no success if you don't work hard. You complain how people can score well all the time, like how you know who does, because I found out how hard he worked. Sleeping at around 4 am everyday is not something everyone can do.

I don't need speed, don't need 100% error free, don't need perfect A, I only want effort, that some part of your heart is being placed inside the work, not some "eveline wants this by this date, so I rush everything first, so that I can move on to other things." No, not that kind of efficiency.

Nobody said studying is easy, nobody said life will be good. Without pain, where's the gain? Just think.
I spend my weekends at home to finish tutorials before hand and to do projects. You think I'm happy? But I don't have a choice, and this is the path I choose, so I have to live it. So why can't you? Don't say no you can't, say yes you can. It's all in your head.

2009-07-23T20:21:00.000-07:00

Falling sick.
Popped in two panadols early in the morning.
Can't concentrate during Ktai's lesson even though I want to, because I see hope in pulling up my Investment grades.
CSB is another module that I want to work hard for.
I don't want to take any opportunity cost this semester.

My pride gets in the way of a lot of things.
It's like a protective shell.
Anything to make myself forget all the unhappiness and pain.
I'm miserable too.
Whether it is about the same thing or not I don't know.
There's a reason why I don't want to know all the answers.
It's to stop me from thinking about you, from caring about you, from wanting to know how you are feeling and doing every second every minute that I am awake.

I'm sorry, that I'm not good enough to be there for you.
You don't want me to be there for you anyway.

2009-07-22T22:38:00.000-07:00

I’ve been waiting for my dreams
To turn into something I could believe in
And looking for that Magic rainbow
On the horizon I couldn’t see it
Until I let go
Gave into love and watched all the bitterness burn
Now I’m coming alive
Body and soul
And feelin’ my world start to turn

And I’ll taste every moment
And live it out loud
I know this is the time,
This is the time
To be more than a name
Or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life
Time of my life

Holding onto things that vanished
Into the air
Left me in pieces
But now I’m rising from the ashes
Finding my wings
And all that I needed
Was there all along
Within my reach
As close as the beat of my heart and

I’ll taste every moment
And live it out loud
I know this is the time,
This is the time to be
More than a name
Or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life
Time of my life

And I’m out on the edge of forever
Ready to run
I’m keeping my feet on the ground
Arms open wide
Face to the sun

I’ll taste every moment
And live it out loud
I know this is the time,
This is the time to be
More than a name
Or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life
Time of my life
More than a name
Or a face in the crowd
This is the time
This is the time of my life.
This is the time of my life.

Currently in love with this song.
My kind of song.
The kind of song that instils hope into me, the kind that will make you fly. The kind that people from American Idol will sing when their dreams come true. Like, Jordin Sparks and her "This is My Now", this is David Cook and "The Time of My Life".

I could just leave, the way I decide between NJ and SP three years ago, without any hesitation. But this is different. I know I don't want to stay here forever, I know I talked about starting a new chapter to my life. But, what I'm considering now is like starting a new book. I don't know if I'm ready, to leave my life here behind, and my friends too? I need to know what I want, take in what others suggested, but ultimately, it's my life, so I decide, right? and no one can tell me what is right or wrong, because I should be the one deciding what's best for myself. aiyah, i just want to graduate from sp with a diploma with a satisfying gpa can liao. and satisfying means the standard that I want.

Anyway, to some, do yourself a favour and do things that can make others respect you. Ok, maybe you enjoy the attention and all, but do it in such a way that doesn't disturb other people. If you want to disgrace yourself, then please just disgrace yourself, I hate it when people associate me with you. Because we are totally not the same kind of person, which explains why we don't flock together. So please, for your own good, earn some respect for yourself. and do me one small favour, keep your mouth shut when you are supposed to, like say, please don't talk for 1 hour from the start of one lecture to the end NON-STOP like you own the whole lecture theatre alright? -.-'''
basket.

2009-07-20T05:48:00.000-07:00

I wasn't feeling my best today.
Not Monday blues, just, not at my best.

Anyway, my team didn't qualify for the semi final, so game is over.
I'm not being truthful if I say I'm not sad, not because I wanted to win the money, nor for any glory, but I badly wanted to show those people who look down on us that we can make it too. Now I got nothing to say to them. We lost, okay? Happy now? I'm not going to show any sign of dejectedness, because the run is not over, yet. So don't be too happy too soon.

I shouldn't be bothered with the little people. Our hard work should be for ourselves, not for other people, yes?

My head's been spinning around since morning. Don't worry, no flu, no fever, just one of those low blood sugar level days.

I've been thinking about what shufen and I discussed last night. I gave them so many chances to prove me wrong, but time and again they disappointed me. I think we should just leave it like it is, we're leaving soon anyway. I don't see the point in trying anymore. I don't need to be fake, nor do I need such friends. Not happy means not happy. No why, no because. We don't need to get along with every single person in the universe.

I think I'm in such a cranky mood after BD this morning I couldn't control my temper. Accidentally snapped at Ben and Goki without realising what I just did. Sorry about that guys, didn't mean it that way. I think I have a lot to learn from Pang about anger and stress management. We both gets pressurised and angry for almost always the same reasons but she handles it and hides it better than I do.

So hy and c were talking to me about something. And I couldn't seem to bring my point across, and they couldn't seem to understand why I feel that way. See? I don't even know the answer myself, how to expect other people to underestand?

I think you guys have read enough. Shall stop here and continue with Investment.
Omg, what else to write for TA? If anyone reading this and if you know what else to comment for Technical Analysis, please leave me a message because I need your help. I will be very grateful.

2009-07-17T20:35:00.000-07:00

Location: Marina Square McD's.
Time: 11.36 am, Saturday 18 July.

Here I am on a nice Saturday morning, what did I get myself into?
Ge kiang lo. In the end what did I get? Add more stuff to do to the already piling up work only. Sad.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry when my friends rely on me. It's good in a way, but if I don't perform up to the expectation, then they'll be disappointed, and it saddens me.

When you are happy, you smile. When you are upset, you cry. When you are angry, just flare up. There's a need to embrace the simplest pleasures in life. Nobody's perfect.

"Harry, how do you feel when you see Ginny and Dean together?" - Hermione started crying.
"It feels like this." - Harry

It's a feeling that no words can ever describe.
It's not how we are as individuals, it's how we are when we're together.

2009-07-15T22:48:00.000-07:00

Should stop ranting about the management game as a whole.
Have mixed feelings about this whole thing right now.
A part of me wanted to give it all, the other part just want to concentrate on proper work.
Guess we'll see how it goes.
I'm not a quitter.

But this doesn't stop me from becoming pek chek with some people. A joke is fun and humorous, but when it hits a raw nerve, MY raw nerve, it's not funny anymore. So unfortunately for you, I'm not happy about it. You don't treat your friends that way.

Moving on to happier events of the week...
It was Clara's and Julia's birthday on Tuesday.

Gang celebrated Julia's birthday

Opening of the birthday present

The smile that we bring to people when we celebrate their birthdays with them made our day as well.
I love the unity among us.
Chalet in September! I hope all 12 will be present.

2009-07-13T03:30:00.000-07:00

Yes! Sixian, just what I needed.
So according to sixian who learnt it from Mark Twain:
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great ones make you feel that you, too, can become great.

I shouldn't be wasting my time ranting about this certain person.
But what the heck this certain person disappointed me so much.
What makes him think he has the right to judge and comment about others?
What makes him think he is above us?
Maybe he can do better, but that doesn't give him the authority to put us beneath him.
He may be in a better position than us in this short run.
But his friend is so much better as a person and as a friend. And I tell you my one cent worth okay? That is the asset in the long run.

So shit him.
Feel like slapping his face and kicking his ass.

Okay, I just accumulated a lot of karma cursing at him.
I'm going to go baibai with shufen on wednesday to wash away my sins.
But his sins are more than mine, so I shouldn't worry too much.
So keep your insults to yourself okay please thank you very much.
and yes if you, yes you, are guilty after reading this, yes i was talking about you.
damn it, you irks me.

2009-07-12T05:10:00.000-07:00

"Brick walls are there for a reason. They give us a chance to show how badly we want something. They are there to block the other people."

"I'm going to find a way to be happy, and I'd really love to be happy with you, but if I can't be happy with you, then I'll find a way to be happy without you."

It's not about how hard you get hit. It's how hard you get hit and how you keep moving forward.

They say luck is when preparation meets opportunity. But I don't believe it. I don't want to believe it. I don't believe in luck.

2009-07-09T22:49:00.000-07:00

When everything is done,
I'm starting over.
Like a fresh sheet of paper.

When everything is forgotten,
I'm starting over.
I know it's only going to get better.

Right,
I'm someone who can fool myself well.

2009-07-09T03:45:00.000-07:00

Your conscience kena eaten by the dog.
You have zero left.
So please beware because karma is coming your way.

I believe in justice, law, order, fairness and equality.
Reaping what you sow and giving back what you don't earn.
Integrity and righteousness should be upholded.
Dishonesty should be frowned upon.

忠孝仁爱
礼义廉耻

nanhua's school motto, still deeply etched in my head.
Millions of gratitude for what they have taught me, but I regret that it took me this long to realise that such scums and bastards are roaming around the earth that we live in, living and breathing in this society.
It is my misfortune that they exist so closely around.
But thank God I'm not a part of them.
I thank God for bringing me to the right places and to the right people.

When we graduate next year, I'm going to tell you this.
You didnt earn your diploma, you stole it.

2009-07-07T07:45:00.000-07:00

When you're screwing up and nobody says anything to you anymore, that means they've given up on you.
When you see yourself doing something badly and nobody's bothering to tell you, that's a bad place to be.
You may not want to hear it, but your critics are often the ones telling you they still love you and care about you, and want to make you better.
Self esteem is something you have to build. There is only one way to develop it. You give them something they can't do, they work hard until they find they can do it, and you just keep repeating the process.
If you work hard enough, there will be things I can ddo tomorrow that I can't do today.

This is the feedback loop for life.
Sports isn't about learning the skills and the intricacies of it.
It's about teamwork, perseverance, sportsmanship, the value of hardwork and the ability to deal with adversity.
It's an indirect learning.

Anyway, on a side note about today.
I really don't get your point.
What are you trying to prove?
Win by playing tricks? Favouring your "puppets"? You call yourself an educator?
You don't have your integrity with you huh? That is cheating, fyi.
I will slap you if I am to stoop to your level.
Idiot.
I detest people like you. You don't deserve any respect, and guess what, you're not getting any from me.

2009-07-06T04:56:00.000-07:00

I'm really thankful.

Everytime I feel like giving up, and when my hard work doesn't seem to pay off, when what I worked hard for let me down repeatedly, crushing my confidence, self-esteem and hope, something, or someone appears and shower me with all that I needed to get back up and run again.

This race, the one that I have been running ever since I stepped into SP, is coming to an end, soon. I know I don't have to prove anything to anyone, but I want to, not for anyone else, but for myself. I need that sense of achievement that I could never have attained in Nan Hua.

I rarely hide things from people. What you see is what you get. One thing I tried to suppress from people is my dislike to be in people's shadows. Either you be the best, or be nothing at all. It's a very strong and competitive line, but I don't like such extremes. I welcome competition only to a certain extent. Actually in most cases, I don't even feel like competing. The competitiveness in me can be too overwhelming, too intense for my own liking.

I'm so full of contradiction, don't you think? haha.

2009-07-04T23:19:00.000-07:00

Term 2 starts tomorrow.
Can anyone spell sian for me?
Let's move on move on move on, I wanna graduate asap.

Satisfied the cravings yesterday with sx and cec at this rong guang bbq seafood at clementi. awesome place. next time gang can go there as a steamboat alternative. We ordered chilli crabs, sambal stingray, sambal kangkong and hotplate tofu, a little too much for 3 persons, but we finished them all. haha. okay sx didnt finish all. cec and i did.
then after that we took a bus down to jln jelita's cold storage to get mochi ice cream. ate them on our way to the bus stop where there are buses home. meeting sballers again on the 17th.

There's something on my mind that I really really wanna know. But then again it's not my call right? So i think i should shut up first.

2009-07-02T09:41:00.000-07:00

We always ended up eating steamboat after the end of every tests/exam. Can tell me why or not? It's bewildering ah. Haha. Not complaining though.

Anyway, we pigged out at tian tian and ate our hearts out for about 2 hours. With still bloated stomachs we walked to citylink for desserts from Marvelous Cream. Pang, Ben, Choong and I shared the Chocolate Sienne while the girls got themselves the strawberry and mango one.
I think we were damn high tonight.

High until shufen finished this all by herself:

this was not the only plate by the way, this was what she is enjoying towards the end. I believe there's more.

Photos are limited because all of us were busy with the food.

The neighbour upstairs is one ultimate public nuisance. I wish one day he will realise that and repent.

I was talking to huili about changing course when I go to uni. My parents and relatives are against me going into psychology. But what if that is what I want? I really don't know. I kind of have had enough of banking and business. D's going to do veterinarian, a part of me wants to join her. Sx wants to do marine biology, I developed an interest in that field ever since the snorkelling trip, and I have been surfing the net for documentaries on marine creatures. And what about my restaurant?

I think, it's really time to sit down and tell my parents what I really want, even though they may not support the idea. Ok, I want a job that makes money, but I also want a job that I will enjoy.

I remembered someone telling me that you can never enjoy your job, which I don't agree. Yes, you can enjoy a job IF you have passion for the job, right? I don't want some job that gives me pressure and all sort of nonsense even though it's a 5 figure sum into my bank account every month.

The world is a bitter place to live in, our society especially, where results matter, where only the strong ones will survive. It's this performance-oriented society that shapes us into this over-serious people. Soon everybody will suffer from the overly serious syndrome.

This should not go on.

2009-06-27T06:22:00.000-07:00

Hello all,
Wahaha, i took a break from the lecture notes today, just surfing the net all day.
I'm not being lazy, mind you.
Hmm, some shitty things happened at home, I guess, the major change that I am worrying about is coming earlier than planned.
:(

I don't know who to turn to for help, like real help, not advices, not suggestions, but help. Something real that can change the situation.
Sometimes I ask myself, and recently I've been asking alot, why must it be me?

ahh, whatever nonsense that's going to come, can't it wait? at least until i've graduated?
i don't really fancy such disruptions, you see.

2009-06-26T10:47:00.001-07:00

I've got really nice neighbours, the one upstairs and the one downstairs.
They happily took turns renovating their unit, drilling walls, hammering whatever nonsense, everytime i'm having mst or exam.
The one upstairs even better, happily show off their stereo system, blasting the tv and their techno music in the morning, in the afternoon, at night, and right now even, at 2 am in the morning, windows open, not caring that my bedroom is underneath their living room, meaning i get the full blast of everything.
shit you.
they're new on the block by the way, newly-wed couples by the looks of it, and assholes too.
its not the first time by the way.
the first time they made their presence known to the block is when they had a homecoming party and totally blasted their stereo system while dancing around and talking loudly by the window.
i dont want to be a sour grape and spoil your mood like someone who dont have a life, okay, but that was sunday night for goodness sake. thats the worse thing ok? people like me suffer from monday blues and i need a peaceful sunday night sleep. you want party make it on friday or saturday night la, are you brainless or something?

better still, i introduce you to the bbq pit area and the function room. you just have to make a trip to the management, pay a deposit, use the place, and then you will get your deposit back. i know your stereo system is awesome, you can stop showing it off, it's getting on my nerves.
stop testing my patience.

2009-06-26T03:47:00.000-07:00

We celebrated xy's bday at NYNY on Wednesday.
Great company as always, not bad food, funny waiter.
Then the rest went home while sixian and i decided to chill around at tcc.
Shortly joined by xy and yx again. haha.

It's been ages since I wrote a decent post.

Not in the mood because of MST.

Woke up today to realise that MJ passed away.

The kids will be safe, but the music will never be the same again.

Old songs rock!

2009-06-25T01:47:00.000-07:00

开窍了。＝）
谢谢你.
I will be as brave as you are.

2009-06-24T08:54:00.000-07:00

I want to run off to some island, alone.

Hungry go find food, not hungry just slack around.
Got rain then go drink, no rain then just don't drink.
Sleep and then die, maybe die of hunger or die of thirst, or eaten by some wild animal.
Just away from everything, and everybody.

I was reading a friend's blog.
Not a very close friend, hardly talk to her, but friends.
I think she's really strong, despite everything she manages to pick herself up, not like me, denial first then immune to the pain and thats it. very unhealthy.

Quote of the day by Ah Lim:
Got money everything also good.
No money can only look.

Tuition assignments are piling, but I really have no confidence in teaching science. =(
anybody wants english, maths and chinese combi?

Out with the sisters and one brother to celebrate xy's birthday earlier.
Pictures soon.
Happy Birthday XY!

2009-06-22T03:31:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Tan Ser Hui!

Happy Advance Birthday Khris Lee!

Celebrated at Cash Studios.

Sang a lot of old songs today.

Lost count of the number of days. I think a few months have passed since day 100.

Study study study.

2009-06-20T06:37:00.000-07:00

Just because I didn't ask about you, nor contact you, nor meet you, doesn't mean I don't care about you.
It's just, some things are better left unsaid. Excuses, some may say, but what do you know? You're not me, you're never ever gonna understand.
Sometimes I wish they would ask, yet I also wish they won't.
It's just a dream, just a dream, just a dream. Hell ya, if it's a dream, it won't hurt would it?
Then how come my heart is so sore and sour?

Can't believe that I'm the fool again...
I thought you were my friend?

Went to sing with A04 yesterday.
Weixian sounded like Yang Zong Wei.
Ryan sounded like Lin You Jia.
Awesome session. A04 got hidden talents. =) Haha, we shall all go sing part-time at a bar.

I need something, just something.
But I don't know what.
Another holiday perhaps? LOL.

REDANG TRIP

2009-06-16T23:40:00.000-07:00

To dearest softballers, how I wish all of us were there, we would have an even more blasting time together.

The place was kinda remote, away from the busy city, limited technology, an island life, basically. The past few days have been great, we totally have this own time own target thing, no news from the "outside world", just living life on our own. Wake up early in the morning, had breakfast beside the sea, took a walk on the beach, suntan, obsessed with the tanning lotion, waited for the boat to bring us to the snorkelling areas, snorkelled, went back to the island, had lunch, tanned some more, went snorkelling again, dinner while gazing at the stars accompanied by live karaoke, went back to the hotel, beer, card games, goof off, get high, then sleep.

Chilled out, talked, laughed.

This was where we had our meals.

Sea water was ultimate clear. Water from other sources, kinda not.

Hi, my name is eveline. I'm nineteen.

I still dont' know much about life, I'm lousy at relationships, but I love my family and friends, even though I rarely express my real feelings.
But despite that, I know there's someone in my heart. I'm afraid of the future, so I don't want to think so far ahead. Right here and now, I'm still in love with that person. I know it's pointless to say anything now, because I don't even know what's going on myself. But I'll learn, bit by bit. One day I will understand. I'll move on, yet stay. I'll let go, yet hold on. Love could be a simple thing, it's us that makes it complicated. I'm happy if he is. That will be all.

There's a lot to learn, a lot more to see and experience.

Like what they say, Life's too short to just to live.

This is a candid shot btw, by Kassie Tan. =)

2009-06-16T05:10:00.000-07:00

"When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything."

It pains me, when I look at the stars, they reminded me of you.
That song, remember what you said before? You said the lyrics of that song was what you wanted to say to me, that it described us.
You told me you cared about me a lot more than what I thought.
I'm sorry, that I couldn't seem to appreciate nor reciprocate then.
I'm sorry if I am that hard to understand.
I'm sorry, and I love you.

2009-06-11T05:32:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking so much my eyebrows will be meeting one another soon.
Time to relax and take that break I need.
I've learnt that it's okay to be mediocre.
But that doesn't mean I'm slacking off okay?

I should stop thinking about the future. Maybe not totally, but I should think less about it.
None of my plans about the future seems to work anyway.
Good idea?

Redang, June Bday Bash, A04 K outing, SANS Bday celeb. =D
Surround myself with love from friends, enjoy myself to the max. Sounds like denial huh? Who cares.

I used to be that strong

2009-06-08T04:26:00.000-07:00

There's no thrill in easy sailing
When the skies are clear and blue
There's no joy in merely doing things
Which anyone can do

But there is some satisfaction
That is mighty sweet to take
When you reach a destination
That you thought you'd never make.

I was searching high and low for the Hurricanes song that I modified from I dream by Taufik Batisah for Angie.
And I found it in a book, along with all the other original songs that I've written.

I went to look at my livejournal and I was browsing through this entry I wrote about how Failure is not an option.

It amazes me when I read all those past entries. I used to be so strong. So unaffected. So determined. I look like a loser at the moment compared to the past me.
Cannot cannot. Must revert back.

Yes, I'm strong, and like you said, I'll be just fine.
But that doesn't mean I won't cry nor get hurt.
Because I do.
All the time.
Just because I don't whine and cry in front of people.
Showing my weaknesses in front of others is not my style.

2009-06-07T06:11:00.001-07:00

I cannot believe I forgot to rant about this recent news I've heard from a friend.
There's this girl from school that I thought was really pretty and all at first but turns out to be a demon with an angelic face.
What are you trying to show huh?
What are you trying to prove even?
You think you are up there but in reality you are so damn low.
I don't think you are that nice anymore, pui.

And fyi, that's my friend you are hurting.
slap you.

I realised that connections really can get you somewhere, but in my honest opinion that's totally a whole lot of crap, because so far, the people that gets there because of connections are lousy. Please agree, it takes real abilities to succeed.
The lecturer was showing us a lot of videos during GEMs to motivate us. As much as I hate to admit it, it kinda damage my self-esteem. I admire people with talent. Talents like singing, dancing, or some other skills like, solving a Rubik's cube in 10 seconds even. Because people with talents will not starve. They can earn money as buskers what. But people like me who got no specific talent whatsoever, jack of all trades but master of none to be exact, have to live life the hard way. Haiz.

今天过去歌词我们多么用心
说再见都保持冷静
微笑着分手没有人哭泣
我们都没逃避时间给爱的难题
不论交给谁都无法处理

oh今天过去我是我你是你
以后就没有权利多给你关心
再舍不得太爱你残忍心放弃
这是对的决定
请勇敢飞行
你要的幸福不在我这里
我可以独自把梦延续
还是一样上班来不及
还是一样看夜场电影
我的生活依然规律
仿佛忘记你已离去
还是一样城市太拥挤
还是一样多变的天气
你的生活是否顺心
有没有人走进你生命

相爱到最后我们变成朋友
不见面没联络像路人的朋友
想念让人失落也不能说出口
某个路口曾经与你擦肩而过
不打扰的温柔是我唯一能做
因为你还相信爱情真的觉得感动
我会在这里再守候
默默看着你在心动不寂
是否你也偶尔想念过

还是一样上班来不及
还是一样看夜场电影
我的生活依然规律仿佛
忘记你已离去
还是一样城市太拥挤
还是一样多变的天气
你的生活是否顺心
有没有人走进你生命

2009-06-05T04:36:00.000-07:00

Counting down: 7 days to Redang with the now official Redang gang.
So looking forward to Snorkelling!
Yeps. It would have been more fun with 6 people but thanks to Swine Flu you know.
My parents surprisingly encourage me to go.
Dad was like "Scared for what? Don't need to scared la, go go."
I think they noticed the pressure from the aura that I send out. haha.
Anyway, there's always a next time, that the 8 of us will enjoy time together.

I really feel like joining SP Softball, but I don't want it to jeopardise my studies even more. =( I mean I really need to get back up, NTU is the main target for now. But Mr Singh was encouraging me to go join everytime I attend GEMs.
Huili was saying her mum's friend's son couldn't get into NUS Law despite the straight As. And I was telling her that results are just a bench mark to qualify you for the interview. The interview will be the determining factor. Fail interview and thats it. Ohman.

2/3 of Hols are packed with activities. the last week shall be kept free of all outings and what nots because I have dates, with my lecture notes. Not to forget two psycho assignments that takes up 25% each, one due next week, one due on Friday of MST week.

Spent my 3 hour break today after lecture before gems with sf at JP. talked about some stuffs.
and some people. weird people, strange people, funny people.
life is soooo complicated.

2009-06-02T06:51:00.000-07:00

SIM Management Game.
Thanks ah, for reshuffling our groups, totally ignite my fighting spirit. I WILL SHOW YOU. YOU WAIT AND SEE. I like that feeling when people despises you, look down on you, then you show them what you can do and how they shut up. The looks on their faces are so priceless.
That's just the way it is. You think I can't do it? I'll make sure I do it.

Totally no mood for the last week of school. June hols packed with activities, but I will squeeze in time to study, definitely. Maybe I'll start now. No, I'm not crazy.

Redang trip is SO ON. Confirming bookings and payment tomorrow. =)
Outings with gang, Ao4, Sans and Softballers. What more can I ask for?
:D

2009-06-01T02:54:00.001-07:00

I'm not going anywhere.
I'm still hoping for that silver lining.

Today was super restless.

Shufen and I were both down, and it kind of showed on our faces. Clara was like asking what happen.

I really don't know how to describe it. There's so many things to say I don't know where to start, not that I didn't try to talk to people about it, I did, just that, I couldn't seem to deliver my message the way I want it to.

Friends gave me solutions that I do not want to take, it's different ok, I could feel it clearly.

I know what I want.

Shufen, I think God angry because we never fulfil our promise to go pray. We better do it during the holidays, wash away all the bad luck.

Planned to pon psycho class today.

But we showed up in the end.

Psycho class rawks big time.

One step at a time, one day, I'll reach the stage.

P chan 19th birthday

2009-05-28T04:39:00.000-07:00

We celebrated P chan's 19th birthday during break today.

Yay, P chan you accompany me already. :D

Birthday girl grinning happily.
Celebrated your birthday 3 times already.

Last year was at Settlers Cafe...

I wish you happiness and all the best!

You work hard for what you want so I hope you'll get what you wish for. =D

Best wishes from all of us, we love you goki!

2009-05-26T08:00:00.001-07:00

If you still think life is a bed of roses, stop thinking that way honey, because it is not.
It's full of thorns and it's only going to get worse.
The pressure and madness that you are feeling now is nothing.
So chin up, don't be that naive anymore.

Psycho group jiayou! Hey I think we really rawk la. So we must rawk till the end ok.
Really love you guys loads.

I love A04 too! I shall plan the outing!

2009-05-23T06:14:00.000-07:00

with the best cockroach in the world.

Psycho group missing junxian - "Hui Jia, go home!"

The manager, the lifeguard, the bell boy, the front desk and the cleaner. =)

2009-05-21T03:37:00.000-07:00

Half of this entry will be dedicated to Ms Lim Si Xian.
Hi and Happy 19th Birthday =)
6 years and counting ya?
You know I'm the kind that holds back on a lot of things, but I think you deserve it so I'm going to say it anyway.
I think you're a strong person, then and now, any idea how much I respect you and worship you for that? You're confident about yourself, and you will never allow people to humiliate you. You're brave and you're not afraid to show who you really are.
You have strong beliefs and you stood by them, irregardless of what other people say.
You have a mind of your own, you know what you want and you go for it.
Not to mention, you were there to give me the advices that I need and to give a helping hand when I screw up something.

Stay this way alright? Go and pursue your dreams, I know you can make it up there.
Happy Birthday. =P Love ya.

Ok now my stuff.
No matter how much you try to change, how you try to lie to people, at the end of the day, you're still you and it won't change. Please, I want the old you.

Three freshies were behaving like assholes in foodcourt 6 just now, it got me and my friends quite pissed off. you better watch out don't let me see you again. i punch your stupid face then you know pain. and go and wash your mouth with detergent, It's DIRTY. LOSERS. you watch who you mess with.

2009-05-20T00:49:00.000-07:00

不是每只船都不怕流浪的孤单
可是它们仍扬起帆
因为心中有个彼岸
也许有些路注定要一个人走完
所以背包总是塞满你所有温暖很暖

原来你一直在我身边
不管距离多么遥远
就算乌云在眼睛里不散
你的笑容让我灿烂
原来你就在我的身边
不管时间怎么疏远
所以就算我飞上了云端
只要想像你住在我心里我就心安

不是每片叶都不怕坠落的遗憾
可是它们仍然飞翔
因为身后树的棋盘
也许有些梦做起来才知道很难
可是一想到为了你眼睛就不会流汗

Current fav.

2009-05-17T21:31:00.000-07:00

Back from camp with an injury.
My leg muscles were overstrained after all the running - without my leg guard.
Sian, this got me damn irritated until at night when I start to get worried instead. I felt so helpless that I had to resort to signing on msn to find someone that can help. Thank goodness sixian's online to calm me down.

Camp was... well, if you are interested to know, I'll tell you personally.

These few days I felt as if I am on Gotcha, so if I am on Gotcha, you all can come out already, because I don't want to take anymore nonsense, thank you very much for your consideration. I let you win ok? I don't want to play already.

Now I'm not only pissed with one hero, but two heroes. Spoil my plan.
thanks ah for your help. you took away something that i need the most.

anyway, someone changed so much.
i'm somewhat disappointed.
but i don't know why i'm disappointed also.
maybe because i expect a lot more from this certain person?
yeah, it makes me sad when people change that way. you can lie to people, but when you look into the mirror, you can still see who you really are underneath that facade.
as much as i hate to admit it, a fact's a fact. it's beyond my control.
=(

2009-05-15T05:05:00.000-07:00

WALAO EEHHH.
malaysia got swine flu!
how to go redang??

2009-05-14T07:10:00.000-07:00

Ficklemindedness in people irritates me, even in friends.
Sometimes I get so fed up, I roll my eyes and ponder why is it so difficult for them to decide.
People who don't say what they mean annoys me too.
You tell us one story and how you feel, then the next you are painting a whole new different story to another person. What's that?

Act busy

2009-05-13T04:01:00.000-07:00

Would you ever let someone go just because you love him too much,
and knowing that you are not the happiness he wanted?
because it's so much more complicated than that.

Busy like a little bee.

Had Electives Briefing today. A little pissed with the limited choices. They better give me my number 1 choice.

Upcoming schedules

- 15,16,17 May - help out in SEC camp
- 18 May - BD meeting, venue: school
- 20 May - BD meeting, venue: school
- 21/28 May - CSB job interview
- 22 May - Psycho 705 research proposal submission
- 23 May - BD meeting, venue: school
- 24 May - BD meeting, venue: my place
- 25 May- BD PA presentation
- 29 May - CF submission
- 30 May - ah xian birthday celebration
- 5 June - BD PA report submission
- 8 June - Psycho written assignment
- 10,11,12 June - Stock Trading Event
- 12,13,14,15 June - REDANG with the sisters!

so far, so busy, so good?

2009-05-12T04:36:00.000-07:00

I want to thank my friends.
For keeping me from falling apart.
Redang in 31. =)

2009-05-09T06:52:00.000-07:00

突然觉得自己好幼稚。很讨厌这样的自己。
说一套做一套，真没用。
最近有在跟朋友讲心事，也有在听她们说她们的事情。
大家都有自己的烦恼，和她们比起来，我的其实不算什么。

明天是母亲节，妈妈不在，又不能和她一起过。。。
我应该是世界上最不孝的孩子吧。早上在网上看了一个电视节目，他们在做母亲节特集。看她们说出想对妈妈说的话的时候，忍不住哭了。我本来就不是一个擅长说出真心话的人。。。
好想大声地说：我有话要说！！！

2009-05-06T19:10:00.000-07:00

Go and do this quiz if you all have time ok?

http://quiz.ivillage.co.uk/uk_work/tests/career.htm

What career will suit your personality?
This description is a generalisation. If it rings true, you've found your career type. If it doesn't, return to the quiz, decide whether you answered truthfully, and not by what you think you should answer. Redo your answers and read your new results.
You would be very happy in a career that utilised your level-headedness, and allowed you to work mainly on your own. You want a career that allows you to stimulate your senses and your mind, without having to be involved with lots of people. Some careers that would be perfect for you are:
Novelist
Photographer
Vet
Medical Technician
Paralegal
Geologist
Marine Biologist
Graphic Designer
Online Content Developer
Webmaster
Computer Security
Producer
Computer Programmer
Technical Writer
Systems Analyst
Meteorologist
Artist

You like working and being alone. You like to avoid attention at all costs. You tend to keep to yourself, and not interact much with the people around you. You enjoy spending time with a few a close friends. You like to listen to others, but don't like sharing much about yourself. You are very quiet and private.

You are very practical, and only act after thinking things through. You don't like being forced to answer quickly. You have to evaluate the situation completely. You make decisions based on what you can verify with your senses.

You like to be involved deeply in one or two special projects. You like to be behind the scenes. You are very logical and fair. You feel you should be honest with others at all costs.
You trust what is certain. You only like new ideas if they can be practically applied to the situation. You value what is real. You use your common sense. You like to utilise the skills you have instead of learning new ones. You are very specific and detailed when writing or talking to others. You follow directions well. You like things to be laid out for you to do instead of working them out for yourself. You like decisions to be made. You don't like things to be left in limbo. You like to know what you are getting into before you commit to something.

You like to focus on the here and now. You enjoy completing projects. It is important for you to achieve and succeed. Therefore, you believe in working hard and playing later. You like to set goals and work towards them.

2009-05-06T04:21:00.000-07:00

Yes, I passed my BTT.
But looking at my schedule so far, I won't be taking ATT anytime soon. This means I may not get my license by the end of this year?

I admire friends who have something that they like, hobbies for example, or favourite singers or groups, etc.
Huili has Arashi, Goki has NEWS, Shufen has lifesaving and the police stuff, Julia has... Willie? LoL.
It used to be Softball for me, where almost every single post is about softball this softball that softball everything. Now? Somehow I feel that I'm not related to that sport anymore. It's just something that I used to play and in love with years ago. I don't even watch the matches and games anymore. So what right do I have to call myself a softballer and claim that I'm still in love with it? The only things that remind me of those days were the trophies, medals and the photos. Am I still a part of it now though? I dare not say I am.
What's my hobby then? I don't have a favourite at the moment, sad to say.

I'm definitely taking up something full time and actively in Uni, that is, if NBS wants me, I'll devote myself to their Softball team, that is, again, if I make it in the team.

For now? Fight for what you want, yes?

2009-05-05T04:03:00.000-07:00

I know it's dumb and plain stupid.
But I can't help but think of all the reasons why.
Like okay, maybe because it's in feb and it falls on a weekday, or maybe because it was before the announcements of their results so they have no mood, or all other sorts of things that i thought of, like, busy with work maybe, no one suggested so let it be, or because it's just me, so let it be?
it's more of envy i guess.
but it sort of hurt you in one way or another, i'm not denying, somewhat jealous perhaps.
oh wells, whatever.

2009-05-04T06:43:00.000-07:00

SAT scores will be available on May 21st.
Prays hard and crosses fingers.
BTT tomorrow, prays hard and crosses fingers.
Forgel said keep doing ten year series, ok later do again.
Zhimin laughed at me because I was conned into buying the highway code book. -.- go ahead and laugh all you want. lol.

We (Clara, Huiyan, Julia, Shufen and William) were enlightened by Mrs P Tan just now.
She talked to us for like almost 1 whole hour about some stuffs.
She told us not to be afraid to shine, to not be intimidated by others just because they look like they have more. She gave me that confidence to believe in myself once more, that I can do what I want if I really want it. Thank you Mrs P Tan. =) I will not let you down, I promise.

I begin to see friends planning for their future, like Shufen for example. I know of her interest in that particular type of job because she has been talking about it for months. And, well, if that's what she wants then as a friend I'll say, GO FOR IT. If you're sure of it, you like it, you want it, then make it happen.

As for me, for now, a place in NBS first, and I will move on from there. Yup.
I'm not that afraid anymore. =) so don't allow yourself to be intimidated too ya?

Junhao said something before psycho class that was super funny that got the bunch of us cracking up. New term for the day: OSS = Overly Serious Syndrome. This is an inside joke.

Our group still haven't decide for a topic for our 705 research paper, currently torn between two ideas. Think think think people, come on, let's think.
We are all tired today, especially now every week we have to present on a topic for psycho. -.-.
give you the dead look. jiayou ah people, it's the last semester for psycho, so let's not waste it.

2009-05-02T23:33:00.000-07:00

Finally done with SAT on Saturday.
The test lasted around 5 hours. 10 sections worth of questions, one part on essay, 3 parts on maths, 6 on english grammar and vocab. Maths section was a breeze through for me, not too difficult, english was so chim. -.-. Essay was better than what I had expected, so I just hope my essay was not off topic.
Was supposed to meet sballers for retail therapy, but I'm so sorry I was too tired because I could not get to sleep the night before the test. We will fix another date ok?
Btw, I will be home alone again during mid-May for around 2 weeks or so, because grandma will be in jakarta and my maid will be following her, so whoever is interested, you are welcome for a sleepover during that period, GIRLS ONLY!

2009-04-30T02:50:00.001-07:00

eveline fell sick on the first day of school.
eveline thought she has swine flu symptoms but thank goodness there was no fever.
eveline is recovering from the normal flu.
eveline did her investment tutorial but forgets to bring it to school.
eveline despite the labour day holiday is going to school tomorrow to discuss psychology paper and activity presentation.
eveline despite still having a sore throat is going to kbox with psycho classmates tomorrow after the group meeting.
eveline is being so easily psychoed by her psychic friends. haha.
eveline is disappointed about something, but has decided not to voice it out for the sake of her good friends.
eveline is tired but is thankful for her busy life.
eveline is taking her SAT test on saturday but is very unprepared.
eveline wants time to move fast fast fast.
eveline just wants to be eveline.

2009-04-28T06:06:00.000-07:00

Sony Ericson T707
THIS?

Nokia Xpress Music 5800
OR THIS?

=\. Both I like. Suggestions will be appreciated, thanks.

I fell sick on the first day of school.
useless right?
It first started when I kept on sneezing non-stop, then running nose non-stop, then my throat gets uncomfortable. @$(@#$*#(@$(@#$*^#()$)@($#. damn damn damn. =(.

2009-04-27T07:26:00.000-07:00

They had this weird look on their faces
when I told them what I feel
and what I am doing.
I know it makes no sense.
Maybe, I guess.

But I definitely know one thing.
and thats all that matters right now.
Keep it inside, and let nature takes its course. =)
I have things to keep me busy anyway.

So after so many years, I still cannot understand why people has so many different faces to show to different people. Like why can't you just be the real you in front of every single person? not tired meh putting up that front? who are you trying to be what are you trying to prove man. stupid.
-.-

2009-04-22T06:41:00.000-07:00

I was clearing out my stuff to make way for year 3 stuff and I found this letter that dates back to 11 feb 2006. The letter was given to me on my 16th birthday accompanied by this handmade "Friends Forever voucher that has no expiry date" by Mr Chai Si Aun.
We were sixteen, preparing for o levels, uncertain of the future, reluctant to move on and separate from all our friends. 3 years later, at this moment, did you see how much we have changed, and how far we have moved on?

Back then, friendships were being treasured, people are united, backing one another up in times of trouble. When I gave up council for softball, council friends were so disappointed and I had no courage to face them for quite some time. But they forgave what I did, because I felt that I had to do what I did and they understood. I screwed up countless times during a softball game, and blamed myself when we lost, when I felt that I let my team down, they never gave up on me, never blamed me, it was all for one and one for all. As a team, we won together, lost together, cry together, laugh together, pig out together. I think they're the only people who've seen me cried and laughed the hardest. Of course, not to forget the people since day 1. khris lee chinny serser and pangpang. I've got their backs and they have mine since 6 years ago. and true friends won't TELL you they will be there for you, they SHOW you, just like how they always did for me.

friendships. it used to be so heartwarming and real.

2009-04-21T22:03:00.000-07:00

I was on the way home with Cec last night and I told her on top of all my normal course, I have a second diploma, I am taking SATs as well as taking tests for a driving license.
Then she asks me one question that I fail to answer. "Why are you stressing yourself out like this?"
Actually I knew why. Because that is what people are doing. To achieve as much as you can. I enjoy what I'm doing, and it gives satisfaction when you did something good, but satisfaction does not equates happiness.

Eliza and Xueying, we must jiayou ok, score well for SAT! It's in less than two weeks!

If you could choose, would you rather have a lot of achievements and no friends, or a lot of friends and no achievements?
I could tell you now truthfully, I would rather be the latter.
So what if you're up there? You're up there alone and nobody gives a damn about you.
So what if you're down there? You have loads of support from people who loves you. This is what matters.

I know what I lack. The fact is that I cannot bring myself to please people with things that they will be happy to hear. Unless I really feel that way, I cannot seem to understand why there is a need to 拍马屁。My parents have been telling me that it is important to give people face. Okay, fine, give people face, but also must choose whether the person is worth it or not right? Respect is to be earned, not given just like that. If every person deserves to be respected, than all the murderers and the sickos all deserve to be respected la?

Don't you ever judge me if you don't even know a damn about me.
Who the hell are you and why should I need your opinion. I don't need your 1 rupiah worth.
I give you my one cent worth. If you don't have anything good to say, you SHUT UP.

2009-04-20T05:06:00.000-07:00

asshole.
shit you.

2009-04-18T22:41:00.000-07:00

Now I understand why sometimes people don't want to share their secrets with others.
It's not because we are against them or doesn't trust them.
Sometimes people won't understand how you feel.
No matter how hard you try to explain, no matter how fantastic your vocabulary is, sometimes feelings cannot be expressed with words.

what a loser.
sian.
i wonder when people tell you they will always be there for you, how many of them actually mean it and able to do it? a handful maybe.

certain things can only be said to certain people. some things can only be shared with another group of people. but with them, i can share everything.

Our second trip will be Redang, yes?

100.

2009-04-17T05:18:00.000-07:00

Maybe one day I'll understand, why apples are red and violets are blue.
Maybe one day I'll realise, how I could live my life without you.
Maybe one day I'll find out when I fell in love,
but today is the hundredth day since we said goodbye.

There's so much on my mind it's tearing me apart.
I'm trying to forget but you're still in my heart.
It doesn't really matter, whatever that's gonna happen.
Just let me be comforted by the sweet memories of our love.

I miss you.

2009-04-16T05:31:00.000-07:00

It is during those train and bus rides when I am alone that I get to think about things.
Life as a whole, people, random things.
I am 19 years old.
People will say that I am young, and that there's a whole life ahead, etc.
But what if I die tomorrow?
There's so many things that I have yet to achieve. So many things that I want to see and explore and experience.
What if I die before I can accomplish all that I want to accomplish?

I told myself to live life to the fullest everyday, to treat every single day as the last day. Easier said then done. Life's tough, and it's only getting tougher day by day.
How nice if we can live without money, and everything is free, enjoy time with family and friends, no school, no work. Who invented school and work? lousiest idea ever.

2009-04-15T01:11:00.000-07:00

I hate all the judgments.
Tired of all the nonsense.
Sick of all the noises.

But even though life's being hard on you, don't ever stop moving forward.

2009-04-14T05:16:00.000-07:00

I like how laidback things are at the moment.
I wish it could always stay like this.
Don't want to go back to the uptight and full of tension life.
I sort of take things a whole lot easier right now, accepting whatever is there for me, minimum expectations, etc.
No challenge, I know. But I'm tired. It's not that I don't want to fight, it's because there is nothing worth fighting for at the moment.

There comes a time on life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and the people who create them and surround yourself instead with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good. Life is after all, too short to be anything but happy.

There will be a time in your life when you realise who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

2009-04-13T01:54:00.000-07:00

厉害就好，不要假厉害。

聪明就好，不要假聪明。

不要画蛇添足，因为蛇没有脚。

Proven by two real life case studies.
Don't go and be smart aleck because it will backfire.
Understand?

2009-04-12T06:22:00.000-07:00

Why so fast Monday?
In a way it's good because ITP is ending soon.
I have another good reason why I should go on to uni. School life beats work anytime. Bleah I don't want to work so soon.
Some of my friends and I have this plan to set up our own company. We'll go out and gain some experience working for someone else, then when we save enough we'll quit our jobs and start our own business. Big dream, but I sort of believe we can make it. I don't want to spend all my life working for other people.

Our perspective towards things change as we grow up.
What we used to believe in the past doesn't apply to the present.
The people whom we thought we knew then have changed as time passes by.
We assumed they were still the same, but in actual fact they have changed so much, without our knowledge.

Sometimes you say things that may hurt others in the heat of the moment.
But hey, people make mistakes all the time.
Then how many times are you willing to forgive them?
One chance? two? three? or are you gonna just forgive them again and again and again?
Because some people will take advantage of you and take you for granted.

2009-04-10T05:27:00.000-07:00

I blame myself for what I'm doing.
It is immature, stupid and it looks like i am running away from it.
But I'm sorry.
I can't help it.
It's too painful for me to face all of you, you especially.
Maybe it's just my thoughts. But I don't ever want to see that image in front of my eyes, even though I can imagine it in my head.
I'm really sorry.
It's too much.

2009-04-08T06:29:00.000-07:00

Congratulations! I have 9 modules this semester.
Namely,
1) Investment
2) Corporate Finance
3) Banking Law I
4) Credit Risk and Analysis II
5) Communication Skills for Business (3 hr tutorial omg -.-''', please let me have an interesting teacher)
6) Business Development (final year project)
7) Applied Psychology for career development and business
8) Applied Business Psychology Paper
9) Learning to learn (gem)

Last semester for Psychology! =)
Hit the books!

2009-04-07T04:56:00.001-07:00

Life's not a bed of roses.
I need strength.

2009-04-06T04:46:00.001-07:00

The hardest thing to do is to watch the one you love, love someone else.
What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the one who made you cry?
You turn around and walk away.
To the friend: I know it hurts, and the pain will be there for quite some time no matter how hard you try to hide. But time will heal you, I promise. And I'm around if you need to talk.

Something's wrong with my stomache - I think it's because of my nonsensical diet. Ohno. I need more sleep, I think.

2009-04-04T22:03:00.000-07:00

When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you, and your best friend will be there.

Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you

2009-03-30T04:57:00.000-07:00

见人说人话，见鬼说鬼话

so when you are speaking to a caucasian, you should use a slang and fake an accent?
Get real man. Who are you trying to be? It's fake and annoying seriously. -.-''' Why must I endure you.

Anyway, Happy Birthday to Banana Chan and PeiXuan. =)

You don't have to actually take the quiz, just read straight through and I hope you'll get the point.

Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
Name the last five winners of Miss Universe.
Name the then people who have won the Nobel Prize.
Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actors and actresses.
Name the last decade's worth of world series winners.
How? Did you manage to answer?

Here's another.
List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.
Name half a dozen heroes whose stories have inspired you.
Easier?

The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.

2009-03-28T07:59:00.000-07:00

Working life is so mundane. I'm not cut out for a desk 9 to 6 job.
I need some spice in my life.
I really want to open my restaurant.

4 weeks of ITP has passed. 4 weeks more to go.
I'm glad that my supervisor gave me an opportunity to be involved in their project. Finally a proper thing to do other than filing, finding documents, making templates and keying in datas.
I won't let you down.

Life's been...peaceful.

2009-03-24T07:20:00.000-07:00

I was waiting for the bus this morning when a boy asked his maid this question.
"Auntie, why so early in the morning people don't want to sleep?"
Cute right?
Is it their innocence and simplicity or our complexity?

I was surfing the net earlier and I decided to go visit nanhua website. Of course, the first page I looked for was the softball page. It's been 3 years since I've stopped playing, 2 years since I've been to a game. I used to be that softball player, someone who dares to dream, who fights for what she wants, with such strength and courage. That was when I have a purpose in my life, where I know what I'm doing and where I'm going. I remembered the many times I have to skip A maths lesson to go for competition, and mr ng will say "Wah, skip class again ah, skip so many lessons must bring back championship ok." I also remembered how miss yeo will wish us good luck before our matches and how the team "Bai Zhen" before the game. I guess I lost that spirit when I stopped playing. My first game, our first gold medal, our softball camp, our 3 days a week training, our games, our bonding session, pigging out session, laughters and tears, fights and misunderstandings. I remember them.
We were strangers, and we became teammates. Now, we're a family, they're my mum, and my
sisters. I have a duty to them, a duty to care for them and love them.

I was thinking about some stuff on my way home. I thought about the things people say and do, and the reason behind them, I thought about the people around me, and I thought about myself.
LoL, I strung up everything together and was enlightened by my own thoughts.
Life is like a pitch, you can take what you're given or let it pass you by.
Everyone has their own life and their own view towards it. Life is so interesting, we can never completely figure it out. It owes you nothing, because it was here first.

tired.

2009-03-23T06:07:00.000-07:00

Friends and I receiving certificates.

I don't like wasting my time.
I don't like fickle-mindedness. 做人要干脆果断，不要拖拖拉拉
Let me sum up what I want to say in a sentence.
I've got a different view towards life.
Year 3 will be a better year. Just watch and see.

2009-03-15T04:18:00.001-07:00

你甚至不让我知道
你对我有多好。

your education should be worth every penny spent.

2009-03-14T07:40:00.000-07:00

要怎样说都可以，
我只有一句对不起。
让我自私，幼稚一次，
我想用最简单的方法，
减少心里那很不舒服的感觉。

Waves goodbye to yesterday.
This refers to the Acer laptop.
I'll give you credit because I completed my 2 years worth of assignments with your help, but you've given me a lot of troubles during the 2 years also.
But I still must thank you, so, my acer laptop, thank you very much!

I welcome my new friend which I'm still getting used to, my Asus eee pc 1000he.
I know I crave a lot about Sony in the past, but someone enlightened me about the importance of functions instead of beauty. Yup, and I realise that now. Thanks Junhao for all your help! I must cherish my Asus. Hopefully it will prove to be dependable for the next few years.

Tired. zzz.

2009-03-12T07:14:00.001-07:00

To me, that's bullshit.
Rubbish.
Excuses.
Utter nonsense.

*sighs.
I've been reading a couple of friends' blogs.
I realise I haven't been around for them a lot lately, especially since their As are over. I'm still fighting my war, my half fought battle, 1 year left to go. Excuses.
Where was I when they need me? I have the word guilty written all over me.
I'll try to show up in more outings I promise.

the remnants of whatever

2009-03-11T07:26:00.000-07:00

Yep, so like some of my peers, I have been busy with my working life.
9 am to 6 pm every weekday, reach home around 7.30 pm, bathe, eat, watch my dramas, bed.
It's only week 2 and a half into ITP, but it feels longer than that. I'm just glad that I have Ms Wong Shu Fen with me at work, and of course our new friend, Stephanie!

Shufen and I met up with Huili, Julia, Entong and Jeraine for dinner just now.
Like super long never see them already, got so much to update each other on, but its a pity we didnt manage to meet up with the rest of the clan. Soon alright?

I also want to take the chance to congratulate a friend for her engagement! OMG man, it's the first time that a friend of mine is getting engaged. Like, for myself la, the thought of getting married seems something that I will only think of in maybe after uni and work and all that. But hey, time doesn't matter ya? as long as the feelings are right, and it's the right guy. =) I'm so happy for you! Full of envy and admiration, but maybe my time's not there yet. Wish you happiness forever and ever and ever!!

Love, I'm still waiting.
But it's the last thing on my mind at the moment.

2009-03-10T05:46:00.000-07:00

Some time ago, a friend, I think it was Si Aun, asked me one simple question.
If you were to die tomorrow, what will you want your last meal to be?
Without thinking, I said, Jap food la, my favourite.
Si Aun told me he wanted his home-cooked food prepared by his mum.
Do you know how I felt then?
The word "shallow" seemed to be written across my face.
I'm guessing it's human nature, for always thinking about what they don't have or what they wish to have, instead of what they already have. Greed - you can't seem to have enough of things. So unfamiliar, so distant.

I don't know when it started, when I lead my life according to the "credit where credit is due" mindset. If the effort that I put in and the results that I get goes hand in hand, that amazing sense of satisfaction can make me damn high for months. But, you can't expect mthings to always go the way you want it to be.

Another friend told me about the half full and half empty glass thing.
A pessimist will see the glass as half empty and on the other hand an optimist will see it as half full.

Life, there's so much to discover, it will be so sad if you waste your life away isn't it?

Some stuff that I hope to accomplish by the end of this year:
- Get my driving license
- Get back to music school for keyboard and guitar
- Maintain that gpa by hook or by crook even if I have to chiong and don't sleep until I complete.
p.s. for friends who are interested, you all know for diploma application to uni, you need 5 semesters results? so at the end of next sem, can apply for uni already. =)
- Go Korea with Eric and Mariah.
- Arashi concert with Huili & Khris Lee maybe?
- Go for a trip somewhere with SANS. p.s. eh we forgot to take picture la, we long time never take picture of us together le.

2009-03-07T00:19:00.000-08:00

Happy 21st Birthday Clement Tan!
It's been what, 6 years?
Time passes.
But I still remember all those times. Silly, but full of fond memories. =)
You should be passing out soon right? Best of luck for university application! Who knows, maybe I'll be your junior again. Haha.

Came back home already. So shiok.
Khris, Chinny and Ser came over last night. Made sushi for dinner, watched dvds, tonned until 3 plus when I finally fell asleep. Woke up and continue watching dvd, made indo mee for them, slack around, ordered pizza. More gatherings okay, before you all go uni!

Work's been alright so far, nothing much except for reading up of materials to fully understand how the bank operates and filing. My boss gonna teach me how to use a program next week so I can move on to the processes itself. By the way, I'm with Commerzbank AG, a german wholesale bank. I'm in the Business Processes department. My office was supposed to be at Shenton Way Temasek Towers, but because it was under renovation at the moment, the temporary office is at paya lebar now. Hopefully before my internship end will move back, because I want to get the experience of working in a real corporate environment, where the real deal is.

"Around here, however, we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious...and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths" - Walt Disney

let it go, let it roll right off your shoulder
don't you know the hardest part is over
let it in, let your clarity define you
in the end
we will only just remember how it feels

our lives are made in these small hours
these little wonders, these twists & turns of fate
time falls away, but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

let it slide, let your troubles fall behind you
let it shine until you feel it all around you and
i don't mind if it's me you need to turn to
we'll get by, it's the heart that really matters in the end

our lives are made in these small hours
these little wonders, these twists & turns of fate
time falls away, but these small hours, these small hours still remain

all of my regret will wash away some how
but i cannot forget the way i feel right now
in these small hours these little wonders these twists & turns of fate
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away but these small hours
these small hours, still remain,
still remain these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away but these small hours
these little wonders still remain

2009-03-04T02:49:00.000-08:00

当一个人正在倒霉的时候，霉运真的逃不了。

问题是，我的霉运什么时候会走。

这种任命的心态，是我应该有的吗?

好寂寞。

又生病了。

2009-02-28T08:28:00.000-08:00

I'm moving.
to the EAST, tomorrow.

Will be moving to my grandma's place at macpherson road jalan chengkek house no 78 with ms wong shu fen.
WHY?
because we are banished to Commerzbank whose office is located at Paya Lebar.
In order to make life easier for both of us, so that we can sleep in 2 hours more, we have decided to move nearer to our working place. I think we pro huh. So from mondays to thursdays, we will be in the East, and returning to our own homes on Fridays, and then back there on Sunday. This will go on for 2 months.

According to a credible source, we are going to a pretty good place compared to most of the rest. I am still a bit skeptical about this but I hope they prove me wrong.
My fellow dbfs and I were unlucky because our ITP came straight after the credit crunch and we got hit the worst being in the banking and finance industry. Some of us were the lucky few who got into banks.

BUT BUT, things happen for a reason and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Somehow, I found back the strength to fight. I'm back. =)

Had a small gathering at Ms Tan's place with psychology classmates. Nice dinner and chatting session. Celebrated Ms Tan's birthday as well.

To friends who are going to China for ITP: Yvonne, Junhao, Forgel -> bon voyage and good luck! we'll see you back in spore. jiayou.

I will downgrade from a 10000 internet speed to 1000. =(. I will miss my home internet and my starhub cable most.

Am super excited for the sans sleepover. There's so much to catch up on with those girls. We will have the house to ourselves because I'll be home alone. Being alone has its good and bad points. Good - there will be peace, Bad - i will think a lot. I shall ask them accompany me until sunday. wahahaha.

Slept at 5 am this morning because I was chionging hanadan - korea.
woke up at 2 pm just now.
why am i being so random.
i need a break man... to just chill and do nothing.
like what junhao said, if we don't make good use of our next holiday to slack, we will be disappointing ourselves. the thing is junhao, our next holiday is so far away. =(

blah.
good luck for itp everybody.
take care.

Bday pics

2009-02-26T08:34:00.000-08:00

2009-02-26T05:51:00.000-08:00

Left unsaid - eveline tan

It may seem alright
I may look just fine
Beneath all that
You're still on my mind

I tried not to feel
I tried not to see
How fine you are
Although you're without me

So many things are left unsaid
And my heart is filled with regrets
The things I wished I've said
The promises I've made

I told you I've had my doubts before
If you're the one I'm looking for
I couldn't see it in the past
But now I wish that we could last

But when you let go of your hand
the hand that I'll never hold again
Baby the things that's left unsaid
I will forget.

Year 2's been a hell of a year.
Where most of the days are filled with pressure, projects, sadness, anger, and disappointments.
Nothing much to look back on except the precious 6 days of trip with the softballers, really.
The rest of the days seem mundane and lifeless.
Or maybe it's just me.

I don't feel the excitement when the exam ended, unlike in the past, where I'll jump for joy and tell my friends how I plan to spend the hols.
This time, however, since WE HAVE NO DECENT HOLIDAY EVEN AFTER A HORRIBLE YEAR, what to celebrate you tell me.
My grades are going to drop again, don't even need to anticipate, it's confirmed.
Shitty.
Wth.
When I look at the effort I put in, and the stupid results I get, is it my expectation too high or have I reached my limit. Can tell me what's wrong or not.

On a side note, actually I do have plans for what I want to accomplish.
- Sit ups and Push ups 100 times every day
- Jog once a week
- Learn Truth on Keyboard

Fair enough right? Nothing much, since I will only be free on weekends.

Schedules:
- SANS sleepover
- IT SHOW: get mini laptop, external hard disk, etc.

and the stupid sore throat is really irritating me.

1. Write your LJ username - cyden-softball

2. Write your two favorite bands/groups at the moment - Lead, NEWS

3. Write either I ♥ k-pop ; I ♥ j-pop ; I ♥ c-pop - I ♥ j-pop

4. Write the name of your favorite person of all time - Oguri Shun

5. Write down your recently favored person - Nino

Anyway, despite all the nonsense, gang and I deserved a nice meal.
After FMKT paper, which ridiculously ended at 8.10 pm, we made our way to Clementi. On our table were - BBQ Sambal Stingray, Sambal Kangkung, Tofu, Sweet and Sour pork, Fried Chicken, + 4 big bowls of soup. It costs us $6 per person. Good food, great company, cheap, what more do you want man.
Anyway, because we were super hungry we polished off everything in record time and coincidentally because the channel 8 9 pm show was showing, we were discussing about the siao zha bo. The siao zha bo who kena always kena dump and then resort to despicable ways to get what she wants. Aiya, don't give up on the whole forest because of one tree ma, not like it is the only tree left right, it's not the end of the world what. I mean you can be sad and you can go ahead and cry but at the end of the day stand up and move on la.
Wisdom grows with age huh? HAHAHAHAHAHA.
I really feel stupid when I recall all the stupid things that I used to do.
At least I'm not doing them anymore. =)
People learn through experience, remember that people.

Cash Studios with dearies today.

I did quite a lot of stupid things inside the room.

2009-02-23T04:02:00.000-08:00

Irritating.
Super irritating.
Urgh.
i really detest _____ from the bottom of my heart.

我不需要很多假好心的朋友
我只想要几个真心的好朋友。

好想你们
好想家人
好想你。
陈杏子，你真的白痴到不行。

2009-02-19T04:03:00.000-08:00

Hi =)
2 down 2 more to go. 6 more days to official end to ~~miserable~~ year 2.
BLAW has given me the confidence to chiong for the two remaining papers. I see hope.
Plans with the gang right after paper on the 25th. Not drunk, don't go home. -> direct translation.
Must go check out our working place with shufen, and to move house. SO MANY THINGS TO DO AHHH. I want to meet up with SANS and sballers also...

Last week, gang celebrated my bday after blaw pre-exam prep. thank you so much for making my day and big thanks to the big present! I'll make good use of it. =) xie xie ni men.
Thanks to those who remembered as well. =)

When I turn 18, I wish that my world will be full of colours, adventures, and as eventful as it can be.
Now that I'm 19, I wish that my world will be in peace and that I'll be able to have time to pursue my own dreams.

When I turn 18, I thought that I have all the time in the world.
Now that I'm 19, I realised that time is flying so fast and we should cherish every moment that we have.

When I turn 18, I thought that it was time for my parents to let me have my own life.
Now that I'm 19, I wish that they will always be around to help me with my life.

When I turn 18, I don't understand what some people are thinking.
and 1 year later, I still don't know what they are thinking. But at least now I know that people don't always agree with one another, because people have different personalities and opinions. However, birds of the same feather flock together. This I agree.

Lastly, just like every other year, I'm thankful for the people that I am hanging around with.

Note to self: No more nonsense, ok. It's time to control your own life, know what you want, and be who you want to be. No regrets. =)

Pictures soon.

2009-02-10T04:06:00.000-08:00

~~3. UCCD final test~~

~~4. Psychology skills demonstration~~

5. End of year exams - 4 papers.

The final lap of year 2. Battle starts.

Dates - 17, 19, 23, 25. the rest of the days will be spent mugging at home. jiayou eveline, jiayou everyone.

UCCD was rather disappointing. -.- alright, but, you guys know my expectation la hor. anyway, psycho turned out better than what i have expected. maybe because i sort of have a lower expectation for psycho.

went to JP ding tai fung to eat with AWK + Forgel. our H dunno go where.

I know I sua gu, first time eat ding tai fung.

Nevermind, now I eat already.

The first thing that I did when I reached home was to redecorate my room.

Finally, a newly painted room with nicer walls. (thanks dad!)

I love my new clock btw.

Wan Ling! I put up NewS already.

Next up will be Arashi and the Click Five. =)

Psycho class =)