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About me
Hello! This is Eveline.I'm nineteen. Currently studying in SP, diploma in banking and financial services. as well as psychology in business. I don't know myself very well. |
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Do you have a dream?
*Inspired by Angela.As the topic suggested, do you have a dream? A dream that you want to realise and make happen, putting aside everything else. Something that you want to do for yourself. Something you've been dreaming about, but have long been forgotten because of the constraints and the practicality of life. What is your dream? Angela wants to travel all over the world to gain some insight. What about yours, yours and yours? Me? I want to open my own restaurant, for one simple reason, nothing beats the satisfaction that I get when people appreciate what I cook and polish every single thing on the plate. Yes, a restaurant where I will be the chef. Don't laugh, that's my dream. Happy early 21st Birthday Sean! I bet you love your music, don't ever give it up. =) Went for Sean's 21st bday bash last night. He and his friends were playing rock live. But a pity there's no drummer and keyboard player, I heard the drummer have military training so they cannot make it. Food's good btw, thanks for the invitation. Talking to the seniors and the cousins have been insightful, and I am really listening. Looking forward to K session with Aunt Judy, Sherman and Celia. I think it'll be awesome. Music rocks! Psychology group meeting @ National Library. Funny video taking session. Got our work done. Talked about the future. Speaking about future, I can't see mine. Can you see yours? Please enlighten me. Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing. Hello world. Guess what? It's 2.26 am now. The whole month's been totally sucky, so just bear with all my rantings okay. I'll try to keep as calm as possible. Things happen for a reason, right? This mindset has been failing me, but I still stick to it no matter what, and I still will. There are actually such things as Perfect. If you're one of those who believe that nothing in this world is perfect, then I beg to differ. It's just a matter of perception and expectation. Things can be perfectly fine to me and it can be an utter nonsense to someone else. I just wish that someday, somehow, someone who sees things the way I do can enter my life. How many wrong turns must one go through, until you reach the destination? I sort of opened my eyes to a lot of things, these past few days, or weeks actually. Now I know, people who I should cherish, and those that I can afford to forget. As quoted from NatHo, I don't need all this shit in my life right now. Having said that, I haven't been a nice person either. So I'm sorry. To whoever for whatever, I sincerely apologise, for causing hurt or harm or unhappiness in any way. I really want to do something for the common good. A classmate from Psychology class was saying this, and I totally agree with what he said. He said "Nothing comes free". Even KBox discount coupons come with terms and conditions that the management can change and amend anytime. Sometimes, hard work can only take you this far, luck somehow, can bring you further. Irritating hor? This is life lo. The plan was to go home, eat and take a nap. But I couldn't take my eyes off MA. MA MA MA. thankfully it's the last project, can stand it no more. some things are difficult to explain. you have to show it. but sometimes show also not enough. you have to both explain and show. this is why it takes two hands to clap as well. I bet I'm not making any sense. Then again, since when I make sense? "You're Harry Potter! I'm Hermione Granger, and you are?" "I'm...Ron Weasley." 'Pleasure." "It's leviOsa, not leviosar..." -.- Happy Chinese 牛 year everyone! May all of you have a really blessed year ahead. =) Looking forward to tomorrow because I get to see everyone again. Ok, I know it's corny, but Home's the best place to be. By the way, Softballers, I dreamt about you guys yesterday, and we were having our own reunion dinner, with Coach, Mr Chng and you know who else? Mdm Sia! LoL. Ohya, speaking of softball, how is our t shirt going? and when is src this year? i want to go watch match.  CNY CNY CNY~ I should try to enjoy myself, really. Not when MA and CRAA is due next week. Haha, i'm bringing work home. What else is new, eveline got no life. what to do, i'm not that lucky that i can get what i want by not doing anything. but then again, i don't get what i want by doing things either. DTan say the world is superficial, if you don't like it then don't live in this world. sad but true. everything is seen from the outside, judged from the outside. unfair, but what can people like me do? i'm not a bootlicker, can't say things that i don't mean, and i show it on my face if i don't like it. yada yada. whatever la, you know. i don't need that kind of sympathy. so save it. hanging out with friends that shares the same thinking makes me feel better. esp with the joker singing his so sick of everything song. the little things that friends do make me smile. yet, underneath that smile lies a hidden pain. what did i do wrong. It all started when I suddenly feel like having Jap food during FF today. So I randomly asked huili, goki and ben if they want to eat buffet at sakae sushi. And so we did. =) A very artistic pic of goki chan.  Take food take food  eh, what is this ah. very weird le, put back put back.  watch it go...  huh, what?  Ms Tan was talking about a Community Service project in Cambodia yesterday after our lesson. I think I'm 100% going for it. Like I said, I need to do some major changes in my life. I need to go out there and do something meaningful, to fill up this empty life. See the world, and help people, learn something new. The world is not stopping for you, so you have to keep on moving, right? :) I feel like ranting. Went to check my exam timetable. CRAA and FMKT exam both starts at 6pm. -.-. I must thank Mr D Tan for extending the CRAA deadline. At least for now can focus on FF first. But I'm glad our CRAA and MA is in the process of completion too. We learned Neuro-linguistic programming in psycho today. Fyi, neuro is how the mind works, linguistic is the language patterns, and programming is how we are conditioned and how to condition others to behave. Anyways, classmates and I are looking forward to this particular topic for quite some time already. So finally we are learning it. Just to remind myself that I actually have a life, some stuff to look forward to: - Chinese New Year (although everyone no mood, including me) - Sans sleepover - Small gathering at Mr Yeo's - Cash studios with HL,Ben, Goki. - Cash studios with Sans. - birthday - end of exam, meaning end of year 2 life that's been pretty sad. I feel that my new year begins when we go up to year 3. Maybe I should change my lifestyle? I've been keeping myself busy on purpose, but that's really unhealthy. Blog's been boring without pictures (quoted from xy), one overdued pic: 
好朋友的关心真的让我很感动。 他们每个都有自己关心的方法，可是无论如何，真的很谢谢大家。 其实我真的很想装下去的。装开心，装没事，装坚强。 But it's so damn hard. 也许是时候给大家一个交代吧。 我恢复单身了。 是他先开口的，但这个决定我也同意了。 我们也没有多说什么，就这样决定。 那时我什么都不想去想。 虽然心里有许多的问题想问他，可是我却开不了口。 因为第一句想说的话是我爱你。 现在想说的是我想你。 可是说穿了，他也知道，没有他，我也可以活得好好的。 只是，心里有莫名的痛。 是真的在痛。 我好想去问他，可是我怕听到他的答案，所以我宁愿不知道，宁愿不去想，不去提。 现在，我只希望他快乐。 如果他快乐，我怎样都可以。 远远看着他为自己的理想去奋斗，我在远方默默地支持他，这样也是一种幸福吧? 爱不需要理由，也不需要拥有，对吗? 大家真的不要担心我，我还有你们，所以我很快乐，真的。  I could still remember the day you came. Mum and Dad woke me up from my nap, and I saw you in the garden. That night you refused to eat and just laid there, because you were not used to our home yet. The next day, you allowed me to pet you on your head, and I carried you around. We've been best friends ever since. That was 13 years ago. Now that you're gone, my only regret is that I was not with you when you left. I'm sorry. Rest in peace, Penny, I'll miss you. I will always remember you, and I will always love you. A lot of things seemed to have happened. I strongly believe that God has a plan for each and everyone of us. I can't find the right words to explain how I am feeling right now, but I've never felt calmer. It's as if something heavy has just been released from my shoulder. I'm a lot stronger than I thought. I went to NatHo's blog earlier, and I particularly liked this part where he wrote that we should know who are the people that matters to us so that we can appreciate them more, and to avoid or eliminate those who give out negative energy. It's tiring to deal with them and we don't need that at this point of our lives. I couldn't agree more. As you get older, you get wiser - I hope to live up to that from now onwards. Life's too short. =) Plus I've got a good number of great friends around. =) Life won't be too bad huh? Ganbate ne. =P Baka eveline, you and your stupid pride. stop thinking, stop wishing, it's not happening. I've finished reading Yakuza Moon. Very heartwrenching story. What I've learnt from it was that there are so many different types of people in this world. It kind of scares me. I survived my second psychology test. =) I'm thankful for the supportive classmates that I've got. Next up: 1. UCCD presentation & report submission this Friday. 2. Psychology Work Group Dynamics MCQ Test next Monday. 3. CRAA and FF report submission next Friday. 4. MA country reports submission next next Friday. 5. MA last test next next next Friday. 6. GEMS photo essay and 8R photo next next next Friday as well. 7. Psychology skills demonstration test next next next next Monday. In addition, Psychology HAWKE presentation and individual journal somewhere and I don't feel like thinking about that yet. Jiayou people, we must chiong ok. I'm finally going to meet Khris, Ser and Min this Sunday. Hopefully, I won't faint on the way again. Touch wood, so scary. Anyway, today is CHAI SI AUN's BDAY. BUD! HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY! I know you're in camp right now and all that, but we will definitely have a belated celebration for you ok! :) Stay true to yourself, be who you are, we love you because of that! May all your wishes come true! While studying for psycho test, I updated myself with a lot of songs. Mostly News and Arashi, and some other songs by 小猪 and 曹格. 悲伤的歌其实还蛮好听的. 歌词写得真好. 曹格-单数 我很清楚爱是双数 我不哭哭也没有帮助 配合演出心里有数 下一幕你就要退出 当你淡出心被空出 都不算数爱的单数 剩除不尽的孤独 被出卖的爱单行的未来 你说过感动不是爱 我为谁悲哀 被出卖的爱单程回不来 没能耐再把心剖开 活着但我不存在 我太糊涂爱是变数 再付出也数留不住 配合演出心里有数 你说不再没有假如 当你淡出心被空出 都不算数爱的单数 剩除不尽的孤独 被出卖的爱单行的未来 你说过感动不是爱 我为谁悲哀 被出卖的爱单程回不来 没能耐再把心剖开 活着但我不存在 被出卖的爱单行的未来 你说过感动不是爱 我为谁悲哀 被出卖的爱单程回不来 没能耐再把心剖开 活着但我不存在 我明白落单了的爱不存在 罗志祥- 淘汰郎 一切的改变 我不能预见蠢到极点 你说了再见 却哭花了你美丽的脸 我对你的忽略 你的不快乐从此就踢出你面前 都是我不对 爱的学分被你当掉不见 淘汰郎就是你给我的失恋称谓 你说的我做的原来通不过考验 被你三振没有怨言 都是我亏欠 淘汰郎背号已被爱写了个残念 能不能让我复活最后最后一遍 你说已经到了终点 爱已消失不见 我的爱情到了终点 背着失败下线 大家有空去听一听吧 =) 谢谢大家， 至少我现在知道 其实我并不孤单。 我的心平静多了，大家的关心，我深深地感受到了。 一时冲动说出来的话，真的不能当真。 一个人感觉无助的时候，真的什么都做得出。 人生本来就是这样有起有落，不可能每天都幸福，一切都顺利。 家家有本难念的经，我的可能比别人复杂一些。。。 没事。 我很坚强的。 死不了。 笑一笑，一切就过去了。 First post of 2009. Project's been keeping me busy. It's kind of a good thing right now, at least. Plans to catch up with friends got delayed again, due to fever and all. Sorry girls, just not in a very good state right now. I can't believe how strong I could be, when I stood firmly on the ground and told myself not to cry in front of my parents. I remember a friend once told me, I think it's Nic, that even though crying doesn't make you a weakling, it doesn't mean you're allowed to cry. At least it's all clear now. If it becomes a burden, it's not something you want to look for. But you feel the pain though, because to you it's real. I'm not giving up yet, but for now, there's nothing much I can do. |
