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I was lying on my bed trying to take a nap this afternoon, but I ended up looking back at how much my life has changed.

I thought about my family. How it used to be just my parents, my brother and I, to my sis-in-law and then my baby nephew. I thought about my friends, those I've lost, and the new ones I've made. I thought about myself. How much I've seen, how much I've experienced, and how much I've overcomed. I've changed, because the surroundings have changed me, because I needed to adapt to all the changes, because I need to be strong enough to carry on. But sometimes, just once in a while, I can't stop the tears from flowing. The happiness I've been trying to achieve seems so far away, and I dare not even think, not even for a second, if that happiness will ever belong to me. I don't want to get hurt again. I've had enough. For real this time, I've really had enough. Friends told me that the type of guy that I needed have been extinct for a long time. But you know what? I still believe that somewhere out there, there will still be one. And fyi, I'm not the type of whiny plastic container who needs a guy to be around with all the time. Love is more sacred than that. Some bastards out there just can't seem to understand.

Thanks guys for all your support and encouragement~
I can make it true!

For the first time this semester, I reached home as early as 2 pm, and there is no need for me to rush anything.
MA is done, just waiting for yihua to send me the frontpage file, then I just need to burn.
ECM report is done, Julia will be printing and binding it.
RWPS ppt will be edited after everyone has edited all their other parts.
And... yeah, nothing else to be done. =DD

Let's list down stuff that I feel like doing:
1) Watch Dark Knight (yes I haven't watch)
2) Watch The Mummy
3) Jap crash course
4) Choreograph dance steps for performance
5) Shopping
6) Go K Box

The list goes on. I go and think first.
Yesterday's DP presentation was hilarious.
It's not supposed to but Aaron's acting was super funny we just burst out laughing.
Nevertheless, DP is always enjoyable.

I shall do an update about what I've been up to these few days before I go back to whatever stuff I have to complete.

Let's start with FA.
I totally wasted my time studying. It's a total flop.
Wonder how it will affect the overall. I felt that I've let June Lin down. When she gave me back the last paper, she told me this and asked me a question, "You've done well, but can do better one right?" Yeah. I could have. Could have could have could have. How many could haves do I have to look back to?
Never mind, just work even harder for the last test. I'm so gonna mug hard.

Went for the pre-departure camp.
Let's just say I'm really looking forward to Japan with this bunch of people. And the performance too.

Didn't get to sleep much because there are still projects to complete. How pathetic. So much for doing our own share of the work. Good job, a completed project will suddenly appear out of nowhere on the day the project is due. Thanks ah, really, I appreciate it a lot. But I pity your parents. They work so hard to earn money so that you can be educated, and this is how you repay them? By dreaming in class, clueless about all the things that are going around?
Wake up, please, before I lose my temper, or its going to get ugly. Make yourself useful by doing something constructive. Don't act like a bimbo when you're not one.
There's going to be some changes around here. I don't care how you're gonna do it, but you have to do it. I'm not going to be ms nice and "haha, it's okay, I'll do it" when all I want to do is scream at you. I don't mind if you try and get it wrong, but show me that you put in some effort can? Don't give me crap work can or not? Like that might as well I do right?
Use your brain please, don't waste it.

I shall stop here before I go on further.
Just felt like letting some steam off here.
I'll be fine tomorrow.
I miss best team.
I want my best team.
Best team for FYP!

As long as you persevere and don't give up, you'll see light even in the darkness.
=)
I can finally see some hope in BFI.
Good job people. =P
I'm proud of us.

Is it worth it,
Giving up what you love, just to fight to be the best?
When you can be unique and be different from the rest?
Don't make the same mistakes I did.
Don't bite off more than what you can chew.
Don't make stupid decisions that you will regret for the rest of your life.
Because in the end, nothing else matters.

What am I talking about?
I also don't know.
I just find that, sometimes, I wonder if I'm doing the right thing, whether I'm making the right decisions, etc.
How many people my age knows what they want in the future?
Loads, actually.
And how many people, like me, can barely see their future yet? A big number too.
But I really gotta decide soon.
What will I do after graduating from SP?
Yes, I'm definitely fighting for a place in one of the universities, but doing what course?
=\.

Back to reality, I'm bringing my laptop to camp on Friday. Can't leave all the work behind, seriously.
How pathetic, I know. You'll see me and HuiLi in front of the laptop doing MA, rwps, ecm and whatever else after everyone goes to sleep.

Konbanwa!

Watashi typed one long entry yesterday, but blogger got error, so... yeah.
Anyway, CHIBA here I come! Can't wait for September 30th, because I'm going to my favourite country for the second time in my life. =)
I can't believe how time passes so fast. It's been almost 2 years.

There will be a camp this Friday, which is seriously not the right time to have one, considering that next week almost everyday there's going to be something on. Psychology report and presentation on Monday, RWPS mock presentation on Tuesday, ECM Project report and MA submission on Wednesday, CRM Q&A on Thursday, EPI presentation on Friday. What a week huh? But Camp is compulsary and I really want to meet and bond with my travel mates, so I'm going for the camp! Luckily, HuiLi will be there with me, to worry about all the work we have to do after the camp. I am thinking if I should bring my laptop so I can do my work. HuiLi is going to Oita by the way, a bit disappointed. But well, I'm really glad that we both made the cut. =)
So before we enjoy the camp, we have to slog first, and to save and scrimp. I told my parents that I will be paying for my own expenses in Japan since they paid for the trip. Will be working in September before the trip! Can't wait. =D

Meanwhile, GAMBATE again!

First and foremost
Happy 21st birthday to Julia Da Jie =)
and
Happy 18th birthday to Clara. =)

Everything is taking its toll on me.
Was super tired today and I don't feel like waking up at all, but I need to hand in the BFI report and I don't want to miss Psychology class, so, yeah, I went to school in the end, and slightly late because I was weighing the pros and cons of going to school. -.-''', but usually I will show up no matter what.

Some people irks me like seriously.
You think you're so smart and funny when you have zero manners. Go and hang around with your high pitched friend and act like a moronic attention seeker in the foodcourt la.
To think I thought you're someone worthy of respect. Guess I was wrong.

What's wrong with people nowadays?
Do they need attention that much?
Why must do so many funny things?
It's freaking irritating.

*I think I'm really getting old or something, keeps wanting to sleep, or maybe the bed too comfortable. I woke up at like 11 this morning and then slept again at 5? GAAAAAHHHH! =\. I need some music~.So random.
Poor shufen lost her handphone, according to her maybe kena stolen when she's in this crowded mrt. Curse that thief. Where's your morals and conscience dumb dumb?

I finished both BFI fieldwork 1 and fieldwork 2 at 3 am this morning. =)
Good job group members =).
1 down.

Gotta get down to work for CRM/RWPS now that I've completed BFI.
Waiting for group members to send their parts so that I can review everything and compile and do whatever amendments.

I was telling HuiLi they all that I spent 3/4 of my time at home in front of the computer nowadays, the 1/4 is for sleep. And I was saying that I fully utilised the laptop, yea, until adaptor spoil. lol.
My baobei hp monitor also spoil, so I cannot use my desktop.
I only have my laptop to chiong all the projects now, so please laptop, be good and work with me okay?

Have been going home with HuiLi these few days because I needed to go Westmall to get some things. Even though I need to take MRT and change to bus instead of the usual 74 route froms school, I feel that it is faster. Because 74 is always so crowded and squeezy and Clementi's traffic is always bad after school. And between school and home, there's Ngee Ann Poly, and NP has no MRT station nearby, so you can imagine the crowd.

I was telling Hayati something yesterday, because I feel that amongst all my friends, she's the one who will really understood how I felt. And yeah. Finally. It's finally a goodbye to my past with a smile on my face. =) I've never felt better. Learning to forgive and forget is one difficult task, but once you've learnt how to, it's a great feeling. I'm ready to move on now. So zm, I'm really ready okay? You can stop saying I'm not already. And I'll stop having doubts about it. I shouldn't be afraid of the end result. You'll never know unless you try right?
Hayati said we should celebrate. Haha, yeah, after we clear all the projects we shall go settlers see leng zai.
But all that aside, I feel that the most important thing to do right now is to ultimately do well.
Ya, I shall not think about all the other stuff first. It's not as if both of us are in the same starting line right now anyway.

Meanwhile, JIAYOU gang for the projects! We can get through this! =D gambate ne, mina san.

I've been really absent minded nowadays.
Firstly, I happily did the MA assignment according to example during MA practical and forgot to save it.
Secondly, I forgot to take back my adaptor plug from the service guy until huiyan reminded me about it.
Thirdly, I was supposed to bring the BFI fieldwork to school today to chiong the report, but in the end I brought everything else except that piece of paper.

MST results were a disappointment as expected. Can't blame anyone or anything but myself obviously for slacking off. I'm getting back on track right now. Can't let myself down after all the work I've done. Gambate mina-san and myself!

I'm waiting for this call from the persons-in-charge. "Yes, you're going to Chiba."
But I'm prepared for the worst, though.
Always prepare for the worst, and hope for the best.

Anyways, I was browsing through some pictures and came across one of Penny's.
She's been with my family since I was 6 years old and became my best friend ever since.
It's been 12 years and she's really getting old. She eats less and less as days go by, sleeps more, barks less. Either Cherry and Minnie grows bigger and bigger or Penny shrinks in size.
I know I'll be super upset then, when she leaves, I just wish that I am by her side when it happens.

There was once when I was terribly sick and could not stop coughing at night, and I was in the toilet vomitting badly. Penny followed me to the toilet and accompanied me until I was better. You could really feel that when you looked into her eyes, it was as if she was asking: "Are you okay?"

See all the little things that your dogs do for you?
Cherry and Minnie was oblivious to their surroundings though-.-'''. These 2 only can eat and sleep and anyhow bark at people.
Xerox will be super playful and pounce on you. But he's a pretty good guard dog.

This is Penny.

This is Minnie. Don't see her like very well-behaved, she pretend only. Took me a lot of effort to get her to sit and stay.

This is Cherry, with her eyes closed.

This is the only German Shepherd in the house, the above 3 are pomeranians. My dad's 2 favourite breeds. Xerox stays outside in the garden now, because there's Benito (my 2 months old nephew).

I just felt like blogging about my dogs today. Yeah, don't mind me.
=)

At this current moment,
I wish everything will end soon.
Can't wait for the end of year trip with softballers, seriously.
Away from everything and everybody else.
There's a limit here. Don't push your luck too far.
You reap what you sow, remember that.

Crap.

Got this from xuey's blog.

Your view on yourself: You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for: You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship: You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you meet that person.

The seriousness of your love: You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education: You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you: You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success: You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of: You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self: You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx
Try to do it guys!